both great and small

shitty ex poetry

(A/N: I'm just apologizing beforehand because I suck at poetry. and I said no more poetry about this person but whoop here it is... more depressing shit. you're welcome. -amber)

I did so well for so long
well not well
but I stayed away
from you, oh how I tried

from you, oh how I tried
to keep my fear from you
but no, I let you inside
you ran away, to her you ran

you ran away, to her you ran
and you say that you hate me
I don't know that I can
I can't hate you, I never will

I can't hate you, I never will
I only live in fear
because you kill me everyday
you smile and I die, oh how I die

you smile and I die, oh how I die
when we play those games
all that running away
the enemy, for me it was you

the enemy, for me it was you
and I imagine the same was true
for you and I we don't get along
how did it come to this, however

how did it come to this, however
did we end up here
both avoiding but I stare
hoping you'll look, not glare

hoping you'll look, not glare
everything I do
is so I can get you
to see me again, the way you did then

to see me again, the way you did then
that's all I want
and all I can't have
so I try and I try, though I can't

so I try and I try, though I can't
just say goodbye
even though I did
I don't know what to do, well damn

I don't know what to do, well damn
you stole my heart
I'd ask for it back
but you broke it too, how could you

but you broke it too, how could you
why couldn't I trust you
I gave you the record of everything
but you were already gone, long gone

but you were already gone, long gone
you lead me on
and let me believe
but I never stood a chance, I tried

but I never stood a chance, I tried
I tried to be enough for you
but you needed someone else
across the country, so far

across the country, so far
I know she's the one for you
but still I try to
get over you, I can't

get over you, I can't
I try every single day
I've made three playlists
and still you're here, everyday

and still you're here, everyday
I see you and I choke for breath
I get so scared I have to run away
and still I say, I'm fine

and still I say, I'm fine
I get asked every day
I don't know what I want to say
you're not here, that's okay

you're not here, that's okay
I don't need you anyway
I try to tell myself this
but I end up dead, well inside anyway

but I end up dead, well inside anyway
I cry my eyes out every night
I can't stop thinking about you
I want to go, go far far away

I want to go, go far far away
but I'm even staying close
for school next year
and I want to come back, but I can't

and I want to come back, but I can't
I want to see the shows
but you'll be in them
I can't see you, but yet I do

I can't see you, but yet I do
I come up with reasons for me
to look at your profile
to see if you think about me, you don't

to see if you think about me, you don't
you cut me off
you cut me out
you never want to see me, that's fine

you never want to see me, that's fine
but I can't not see you
wherever I turn I hear your voice
it drives me crazy, I'm going crazy

it drives me crazy, I'm going crazy
without you
I sit alone and I cry
I cry alone and think, I want to die

I cry alone and I think, I want to die
I can't though
so I just cry
cry and cry, just say goodbye

cry and cry, just say goodbye
oh how I cry
I must say though
goodbye