SELF/CONTROL (katsuki bakugou x reader)

gone ☆

Unedited ☆ﾟ.*･

 Ever since I had woken up this morning, I knew something wasn't right. I mean, after all the Tiger-chewing-me-out-because-I-was-sleeping-with-a-boy conundrum. My stomach had twisted in knots, and if I had any food to throw up I probably would have. However, without a fever or any real physical symptoms, it's not like I could get out of training. I wasn't even sure that it was sickness, more like an overwhelming feeling of foreboding malevolence.

I tried to light the candles for the last time, pathetically failing and not trying to stop the fire from completely engulfing the wax. Aizawa looked at me knowingly, before letting me know I could stop for the day.

Because of my impotence in practice, I wasn't allowed to take breaks, fighting with the pros while my peers sat and ate, and in Katsuki's case, watched. I didn't have the energy, so i pathetically failed each time. Was this just depression? I had been on antidepressants for years now, and I hadn't failed to miss a single day of taking them. And I hadn't been this tired and drained since the 7th grade.

I slumped onto one of the benched while my friends dug into the food, laying my head against the table. I was to tired to even frown, so my face stayed apathetic.

"What's with you?" Katsuki asked, not pausing his tirade.

"I don't know. I have a really bad feeling about this 'test of courage' thing though." When i spoke, my stomach turned even more, like somebody was wringing out my intestines. I groaned, clutching my stomach.

"Sounds like someone's a scaredy-cat." Kirishima mused and I lifted my head to glare at him.

"Says the guy who cried while watching Evil Dead."

"You promised you wouldn't tell anyone!" Laughter ensued but I couldn't get the strength up to join them. I said sulking in this odd manner until we stood before the forest, Aizawa toting off the remedial class students.

As we were paired up, I grabbed Katsuki's arm, tugging at his sleeve. He looked down to me in confusion and a little bit of annoyance. I recoiled, not liking the thought of me being a hindrance to him.

"Look, I really have a bad feeling about this. Do you think we cou-"

"Stop being such a baby, I'll go with you if you need." He shrugged me off and I shook my head. I didn't even have a chance to tell him that's not what I meant, before he was pulled away to go with Todoroki. This was all happening too fast, my head was spinning.

Mandalei came from behind me, planting a hand on my shoulder.

"Why don't you skip this one out?" She suggested and I nodded, swallowing thickly and heading back to the lodge. That's when I saw it, a cloud of black smoke erupting from an unknown source. I knew it.

I turned on my heel, using what little energy I had to sprint into the forest, leaving a cloud of dust in my wake, protests fading behind me.

Classmates were coughing, doing their best to cover their mouths and noses. I gave them air bubbles, along with myself, to breath clean air. I didn't have the energy for this, of course, already feeling my lungs burn with a need for air, but I didn't care. I don't know how but I knew something bad was going to happen, and I needed to try and stop it.

Adrenaline was fueling me as I ran off path through the forest. The foliage whipped at my legs, and I remembered the jungle in Okinawa and Tarot. His prophecy swirled in my head, making me dizzy as I ran into a tree, whipping backwards and falling onto the floor.

I groaned, laying there as I tried to orient myself before hearing something. I covered my mouth to muffle my pants as the unfamiliar voices became clear.

"These kids are a real pain in the ass, and where's that Bakugou kid? I wanna get this job over with." My lungs constricted and my mind spun. Katsuki, they're going after Katsuki.

I jumped to my legs, ignoring the dizziness and catching the attention of the two villains that stood nearby. One man was dressed in all black and the other had an odd mask and long coat on. I didn't hesitate or give them the chance to attack, taking the lead as I lit everything around them on fire, including themselves. The fire began to spread quickly and I staggered back, trying to get a control on it but failing miserably. Damn my lack of control.

I half-assedly strangled them with air, but one of them disappeared. I turned to find him, but was stopped as I felt a blade of sorts pass through my back into my chest. I gritted out a scream, before ripping the blade out and stabbing at the guy haphazardly. I missed, just barely knicking his neck as he disappeared again.

"WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR YOU FUCKING CREEP?!" I shouted, brimming with anger. I saw him appear on a branch of a tree, looking smug as his partner passed out. Wrong move kiddo, that's my territory.

The branches quickly grew around him, wrapping him up and puncturing his legs and arms and chest. He tried to dart again, but was stopped after a vine wrapped around his neck, leaving him gasping for air. I took the knife, leaping off the ground and slicing the back of his ankles. Try to walk like that, asshole.

The fire began to spread faster, engulfing all the foliage surrounding me. I ran through it, pain searing through me as I felt the blood spilling out of the gash in my chest. Katsuki, I have to find Katsuki.

Mandalei's message about Katsuki relayed in my mind and I tried to silence her, not wanting to hear her words, not wanting to hear her use his nickname. I finally found solace as I heard him ahead, not too far away. I began slowing down as I saw one of his blasts through the trees, my eyes brimming with grateful tears. He's okay.

"Katsu-" I began, but was cut off as something hit the back of my head hard. Black spots quickly overtook my vision, and I sunk to the ground.

I was so close. That was my last thought before I blacked out.

* * * * *

When I came to, I was looking at the stars. The glowed in the night sky. Smoke. I could smell smoke all around me and distantly hear the sound of crackling wood. I was being carried. But by who?

I looked up, expecting to see Katsuki but instead finding Todoroki. His normally apathetic face was now weighed down by sadness. It was unusual. What happened?

I tried to recall everything, freezing when I did. Katsuki. Villians. Forest.

"Wh-where's Katsuki?" I asked, voice scratchy as I looked around. I began looking frantically as I couldn't find him, seeing police cars and reporters.

"KATSUKI?! Where is he? Where is HE TODOROKI?" I thrashed in his arms, panic attack overtaking me.

"(Y/N) stop." He gently commanded and I panted heavily, heart thrumming in my chest as I felt pain course through my side. I lowered a hand to the wound, seeing a thick viscous layer of blood dripping down my fingers and remembering the coated villain from before.

"(Y/N), this is serious. Katsuki - he's gone. They took him." Todoroki explained as he set me down on a bed in the make-shift nurse's tent. All the color left my face and my hands felt numb. Classmates writhed around me in pain as they suffered from numerous wounds. My world was cracking around me, threatening to cave in at any second.

"He's gone."