Everything Has Changed

Crazy

*There's no hiding room
When every wound
Brings the darkest place to light
So why not assume
That straight out of the womb
I've been marked by a beast of some kind
(Marked by a beast of some kind)
And there are so many reasons why you're not

Crazy for leaving
Just crazy for staying so long
I'm amazed you're still breathing
Amazed you can feel at all
For all the pain I caused
I'm the one crazy after all
The one crazy after all

The morning light comes too quickly and too bright for Jax. His ride out of town ended quite quickly after he realizes that leaving charming is not going happen again without his boys. He has lost enough time with them thinking he needed to prove something to Tara. Not anymore. Abel and Thomas are his sons. He'll be damned if he's going to let another man raise his kids any longer, and he sure as hell isn't going to allow Chibs to be that man. It was bad enough that he had Tara, Jax would rather die then let his boys call that man father. He could have Tara and their daughter. He had fought one way or another for Tara his whole life it seemed. He felt like he didn't know who the hell he was without her.

When she left after high school, he remembers it was her who left. Of course she left because it was always expected of him to follow her. To leave a life he created for himself to be in hers. Even after 10 years she had a hard time acclimating to SAMCRO life and he gave up his club and his freedom for her. Well that time has passed. He has given up a lot in his life for his club, and his mother, and the woman he loved, be he will NOT give up his boys.

He takes a quick shower and changes into the few pieces clothes he has here. He has to go shopping. Now that he'll be staying in Charming for a bit he needs clothes and other odds and ends, but first he had to make the 9am appointment he has. He grabs his keys and runs out the door. This is one appointment he doesn't want to be late for. Fifteen minutes later he's sitting quietly in a conference room. It's only a few minutes after 9am when Lowen enters. She's older, but age has agreed with her. She shakes Jax's hand and introduced him to the man accompanying her.

"Jax this is Arthur Dell. Dell, Jackson Teller." They shake hands and sit at the table.

"You doing ok?" Jax asks the woman who had represented him and the club for so many years.

"I am. Clean representation suits me. Well, dirty... but clean." She smiles.

"Mr. Dell..." Jax begins.

"Please call me Art."

"Art, I assume that you've been filled in on my reason's for todays visit."

"I have. You want to file for divorce from Tara Knowles Teller, and seek full custody of your two sons, Abel and Thomas. Is that correct?"

"It is."

"Are you sure this is what you want Jax?" The man in his early 50's asks.

Jax sees Lowen's weary glance. "I know you've moved past the club a long time ago, but did you know that Tara is back in Charming? Did you know that she's with Chibs and they have a daughter together?"

Lowen can't hide her surprise. "I didn't."

"I think the time to ask what I want is no longer about do I want to be with Tara, but what do I want to do about my sons, and the simple answer to that question is that I want them in my life, and away from SAMCRO."

"Then we won't waste any time Mr. Teller. I'll have the paperwork completed and served to Ms. Knowles this week and before that I'll file an emergency injunction order to give you temporary, full custody of the boys. The club may be living on the semi right side of the law now, but all the law sees are the wrong side they are founded on. I don't see any problems as you are the one living away from the outlaw lifestyle and can provide for the boys. I'll call you once it's all done. It's been a pleasure."

There's no need for signs
When your crying eyes said a million words tonight
And I'd rather die than see you do time
For the wrongs that you can't make right

You're not crazy for leaving
Just crazy for staying so long
I'm amazed you're still breathing
Amazed you can feel at all
For all the pain I caused
I'm the one crazy after all

Standing Jax shakes both their hands. He never in all his life dreamed of a day that he would be the stable parent living within the rules and regulations of mainstream society. He drives home still on edge. He knows Tara and Chibs well enough to know that neither one will accept this without fighting back. After hitting the nearest stores for some clothes he drives back to the house. He cleans up and starts his laundry in the garage washer and dryer when he notices a tarp covering what can only be one of Clay's old bikes that Gemma had never had the heart to get rid of.

He uncovers the bike and the dust so thick it's practically part of the paint job. The reaper etched in grey on the tank. He finds the keys in the house, still in the bowl where Clay had always left them. He adds some fuel to the tank and turns the key, holding the clutch he hits the start button. Nothing. He doesn't really expect it to work, the bike has been sitting for more years then he can remember. Jax sighs. It's been ages since he worked on a Harley, and it killing him to see the beautiful bike not in riding order. He walks over to the Craftsman tool box on his left, all the tool laid out exactly the way the old man had taught him growing up. Picking up the wrench he starts taking the bike apart piece by piece. It's going to be a long, hard task to repair the bike but now that he's finishing things with Charming and it's residents he's got the time.

I'm so far gone, found my way back to broken somehow
Yeah when you moved on, then I can't find my way out

You're not crazy for leaving
Just crazy for staying so long
I'm amazed you're still breathing
Amazed you can feel at all
For all the pain I caused
I'm the one crazy after all
(The one crazy after all)
I'm the one crazy after all
The one crazy after all
I'm crazy

Lyrics by Daughtry – Crazy