Dear Sophie

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Dear Sophie,

  Gorgeous Sophie, my little sister Sophie. I love your name so much and I could say it over and over and never get my tongue tied, never get tired. You were too young to understand and it would have seemed like I didn't want to spend time with you, like we had bought grown too much and we both had to move on. But Sophie I love you more than you will ever know. I miss sharing sandwiches with you and I  miss running around with you. You have to understand I became too weak, too weak to run around and too scared and irritated to share sandwiches. 

   This does not mean I love you any less, far from it it means I loved you too much to expose you to all my bad deeds, to every sin that I had written across my bare ribs. Although I can not run as far and fast, Or I can not eat as much as I used to, I  want you to know we can share other bonds tighter and better than the ones we had before I became who I am now. But I want you to know Sophie, I miss playing with you and I promise until I have no more life to fight with I WILL get better and I will be by your side and dance with you like the sun doesn't exist. I also need you to remember how beautiful you are, every freckle, every crocked tooth, every dimple at the bottom of your spine, every stretch upon your skin, every split end upon your head, everything makes you complete and everything makes you beautiful.



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