Burning Moth

Chapter Fourteen, Part Two - Say Please

Aidan and I destroyed my apartment, tearing down the very walls because fighting each other would never be an option. I told Aidan the parts of my story he hadn't heard and we got drunk, collapsing in the wreckage of our friendship-manic, erratic, beautifully brand new-where we spread like fallen angels in our sea of glass and secrets. Our clothes were ripped and our hearts bleeding, but amazingly, we were unbroken.

"You should have told me, Scar. Why didn't you just tell me?"

"Well, clearly I didn't have to."

"Only because I found Jacob's letters after you left. I was going through your room--you had left everything behind, and I was trying to find a clue, some justification--anything to explain why you would just up and leave."

"I would never actually leave you, Aidan--ever."

"But that's exactly what happened. I'm not blaming you. It's just a fact."

"It's okay, I get it. But the facts still suck." I sat up and took another swig of the honey whiskey, passing the bottle to Aidan before collapsing back to the floor. "I try to make things better, but I just keep screwing them up. And I feel this endless need to keep apologizing--even though I know sorry isn't enough."

"I understand you feel bad, Scar, I've always understood. But I admit, I was pissed when I found out you hid those letters. I confronted Jake, and he just broke down--told me everything. He'd been acting strange ever since you left, like he felt guilty about something--and then he finally admitted why. He told me you were the reason he got sent to jail, and that he gave Mrs. Dixon the ring--and that's when I understood what kind of person Jake really is, and why you hid this letters from me in the first place. You were just trying to protect me, like you always do. And that's why I broke up with him. For good."

"Oh, Aid... I know I've said it a million times but I am so sorry."

"Don't be. You were right. If Jake really cared about me, he never would have done the things he did to you."

I sighed. "Y'know, I thought when he finally left our lives, I would be happy, relieved. But I just feel worse, Aid. I told myself I had issues with your relationship because Jake was Jake, and that I knew he was bad news... but really my issues were because of--me. I was jealous. He moved in and suddenly it was like you were pushing me out. You were spending all your time with him, telingl him stuff before you told me--"

"Yeah, and if I recall you were busy doing the exact same thing with Nicholias." Aidan snorted. "We did this to each other. This is our mess." He sat up with a groan, resting his back against the mottled wall, drinking whiskey as he surveyed the destruction we had wrought, together. I scootched forward, laying my head in his lap, closing my eyes while he ran his fingers through my hair, like these were old times and we were still the same people.

"There is some good news."

"Yeah?" I cracked one eye open, matching Aidan grin for grin.

"I figured out how to work the keurig. You're living here now. Guess there's a lot more stuff I'll be doing on my own..."

"I knew it--you're gonna be just fine, bub. Me, not so much..."

If Emily didn't kill me herself, then it would be someone close to her. I had made too enemies in her world to ever feel safe, or normal, again.

"Y'know what--screw this." I got to my feet, arms extended, swaying from the booze and lack of balance. "Screw sitting around feeling sorry for ourselves. We're done with that."

"We are?"

"Yes. Aidan, you're my best friend. I care about Nick too, but before his family entered the picture, our lives were... different. They weren't perfect, sure, but they were ours. Emily can take my apartment and my dignity, but I will not let her take my best friend! I want us back, Aid--I need us."