Dead Inside

Chapter 6

"You have to eat something eventually," she tells me. Sam sighs. She really didnt want to, but she felt like she had to at one point. "Ok, can I have fettuccini alfredo?" Her mom smiles, "Of course love." Sams mouth watered. She hadn't eaten a full meal in a month. Her mom grabbed the rope and shut the door.

Her mom was stupid for leaving her alone. She still wasn't okay. Her emotions were drained and she felt num. She just wanted to feel something. She just needed to do something to get her emotions out. She walked over to her bed and got her knife from under her pillow.

She rolled up her sleeve and put the sturdy sharp blade to her smooth tender skin. She pressed down and applied pressure making a clean, swift slice. Blood pooled out of her wrist, red staining her pale freckled skin. She winced in pain but it felt amazing to feel such a strong emotion. Why was she like this? Tears trickled down her face and when they fell into her wound, it stung. She admired her wound for a moment and then she went to the bathroom. She rinsed her cut in water to clean it up. Then she wrapped a bandage around it, to help the blood flow stop. She rolled her sleeve back down so her mom wouldn't notice.

She sighed, she felt better, much better. She wondered into the kitchen, where her mom was preparing dinner. "Hey momma," she said, "How can I help?" Her mom shook her head, "Just relax dear." She sat down, and her leg was twitching. Then her hands started shaking, uncontrollabley. "Mom, how do I make it stop?" she said in a quiet voice, feeling very small.

Her mom put a hand on hers, and she rubbed her shoulders. It felt very soothing. "Here its ready," she said, handing her a bowl of fettuccini alfredo. The two of them sat down at the table and ate. "Baby why would you do this to yourself? Are you ok?" She shook her head slowly, "I'm not ok, and I haven't been for a while. But I'm trying." She looked up at her mom, "I'll try harder."

Her mom sat across from her at the table. "I love you," her mom said. "I love you too," she said. She took a bite of the food, and her mouth was instantly filled with flavor. "This is great mom." Her mother shrugged, "Eh it's just something I threw together." For some reason Sam threw back her head and let out a laugh. Why would she ever want to cut her life short? She would miss out on all of this.

She kicked her feet up on the table. Her mom gave her a look, "Just this once." Sam ate more of the pasta. "So how was your day?" she asked her mom. "There was an office fight. Janice hogged up the copier, again..." She started. "What? That's the third time this week!" Sam blurts. "I know," her mom said, sighing. "I finished my report today," she continued, "Boss said he really liked it." "That's amazing mom," Sam told her.

"What about school?" her mom asked. She shrugged, "Talked to the guy I had a crush on today." "Ryan?" "Yeah Ryan. Turns out he has a boyfriend. Also, a kid named Will teased me in p.e," she said. "Oh," her mom said, "Was he cute?" "Will?" "Yeah." "I mean yeah he's cute, but that's not important," she trails off.

"I'm not normal, am I?" she asks, already knowing the answer. "No. Your not, but that's ok. It's what makes you unique," her mom said. They ate the rest of their meal in silence. She felt like her mom wanted to say something, but her mom stayed quiet. After dinner she went up to her room.

She got undressed and she started her bath. She sat on the floor of her tub, letting the water rush over her toes. She sat there, waiting for it to fill up. She couldn't help the tears that fell from her eyes. She let her hair hang over her face. She made her self as small as possible, so that nobody in the world would notice her.

Sam didn't move an inch as she waited for the water to fill up around her. The warm liquid made her skin tingle. She turned the faucet off once the water was high enough. Sam fell back, emersing herself in the water. She rubbed her cuts with the back of her hand. She kept crying and she started to whimper.

A/N: Oh my gosh! Thank you so much for 100+ reads. I appreciate every vote/comment and follow. You guys are awesome. I hope you had a great day.