Soukoku: Country Children

Fireworks

It was seven in the evening when Dazai and Chuuya made their way to the fireworks show. There wasn't a cloud in the dark sky, making what looked like every single star in existence was shining proudly down to the earth below. The show was being held in a large empty meadow surrounded by forest, meaning that the only way to reach it was through the woods, with no path and just a torch. It had taken a couple of nights to persuade Kouyou that they would be fine and that neither of them would wander until she allowed them to go without her. Kouyou was taking care of the young girl Kyouka from the tea house that night since she had caught an awful flu, meaning that she was sleeping on the living room sofa of the house when they got home from school on Friday, and she was still there the next day. Kyouka was a very sweet girl as it happened, even if she was very quiet. Every now and then she would get up off of the sofa and grab a drink and then quickly run back and snuggle under her blanket, and would also draw pictures of rabbits for Dazai and Chuuya as presents, which they made sure to hang up on the fridge.
Before Dazai and Chuuya left, they gave her a hug and promised they would bring her back any crêpes from the show, which made her very happy.
Now the two were walking down the road with the trees of the forest swaying in the distance. They were both wearing a hoodie and jeans, since the weather had taken a rather cold turn from all of the humidity that had been pouring down on them for the past few weeks. Now the air was frosty, and every exhale of breath released a small cloud from their mouths.
Over the past couple of days, Dazai had found himself liking Chuuya more than a friend. To be completely honest, he was falling in love with his best friend. But Dazai wasn't entirely aware of that fact, since he wasn't entirely aware of the concept of love. He thought it was something that only men and women felt. He thought that love was the wedding photos he would see in celebrity magazines on the shelves of the convenience store next to school, he thought that love was the romance in action films with the damsel in distress and the handsome hero. He thought love was something where you are immediately pushed into it, where you feel love for someone straight away. So, Dazai had no idea that he was in fact falling in love Chuuya, he just thought they were something more than friends.
Chuuya had been feeling love towards Dazai as well, but he didn't want to. He wouldn't accept it as love, and shrugged it off as friendship. Chuuya hated the idea of love. It disgusted him. The idea of being with someone for the rest of your life just because you felt as though you were in "love" confused him massively, and he would normally cover his eyes whenever a soppy love scene would come up in one of Kouyou's romance films. Chuuya also hated the idea of love because he had seen how broken and fragile it could make people. He could remember coming home from school when he was very young to find Kouyou crying on the sofa. He had sat down and given her a hug, to which she hugged him back and whispered in his ear: "Never fall in love, Chuuya. It will do nothing but break you." What was the point of falling in love when you know that you become more and more fragile until you break?

So Dazai and Chuuya, even though they were falling in love, had no clue.

On the journey through the woods, the two boys had fun teasing each other as usual.
Dazai would make Chuuya jump by running ahead with the torch and hiding behind a tree before leaping out at his poor friend who would scream every time and fall back onto the dirty ground and look up at Dazai in disgust. However Chuuya would get his revenge by telling Dazai eery stories revolving around the forest they were walking in, and would find it rather amusing to watch him look around nervously whenever there was a sudden rustle or snap coming from close by.

Little did Dazai know that the noises were just Chuuya throwing stones aimlessly around whenever he wasn't looking to scare him.

Before long, they had reached the opening that lead to the meadow, which was crowded with what seemed like everyone from the village. School teachers were there, people from the convenience store, the family who ran the coffee shop and loads more familiar faces they would pass everyday. Much to Dazai's relief, however, Mori was nowhere to be seen.
"Do you wanna get some food?" Chuuya asked, pointing towards a candy floss stall on the other side of the meadow.
"Oh yeah, I'm starving."
Both weaved there way through the large crowd, Dazai in the lead as Chuuya followed close behind. When they reached the candy floss and had started to eat their food, Chuuya couldn't help but feel a bit nervous. He found festivals fun, sure, but he didn't like the idea of being lost in the crowd that could easily swallow him up if he made one wrong turn. "You okay?"
Chuuya looked up at Dazai and realised that he must have been spacing out thinking about getting lost in the crowd. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Dazai never really believed Chuuya when he said he was fine. So, after a while of wondering what would put his friend on edge, he decided to make him feel better anyway.
Chuuya felt a hand hold onto his and pull him towards where everyone else had started to sit down 0n mats, and it took him a few seconds to realise that it was Dazai's.
"Oi, what's the deal?"
"You're gonna be fine." Dazai said firmly, sitting down with Chuuya on a space in the grass. "You have me."
"Oh...okay."
Suddenly, with a loud bang, the first firework exploded in a fountain of colour above their heads. They quickly looked up at the burst of sparks and pops and fizzes as one after another what seemed like a million fireworks were set off into the sky in an ocean of red, green, gold and blue lights that floated down onto the horizon. All around them the gasps and chatter of the villagers hovered around the meadow, giving off a warm feeling in the chilly night air.
"This is amazing!" Dazai yelled over the noise, looking back at Chuuya who was smiling at his reaction.
"I know, right? It's brilliant!" Chuuya yelled back, still holding hands with Dazai.
For a few minutes they both stared at each other as the fireworks continued to erupt in front of them, but in those minutes, a lot of things happened.

In those moments Dazai finally understood what love really meant. Many people would call this ridiculous and a big step forward, but by looking at Chuuya in the light of the fireworks he firstly felt his heart rush slightly. Then he had an urge to hug his friend and tell him he loved him. Dazai was heavily confused by this. Why would he want to do that? That's what people who are in love do. That's what movie stars do. Men in suits and women in flowing white dresses do. Not him and Chuuya. But why did he still want to? That was when he realised that love was the feeling he had felt towards his friend all this time. The feeling of love whenever Chuuya laughed, whenever he punched him in the arm or even when he was just off his rockers and yelling at him. Dazai loved Chuuya. Now he didn't know what to do. Dazai loved Chuuya but didn't know how he was going to be able to act around him anymore. He felt scared about what Chuuya thought of him. But either way, Dazai was in love with Chuuya.

In those moments, Chuuya hated himself for what he was feeling. He hated that he was betraying Kouyou by falling in love and for feeling the emotion he had found disgusting for so many years. Now he was looking at Dazai as the fireworks raged on and felt as though he wanted to tell the damn guy he loved him. Why? He didn't know. It then dawned on Chuuya that he had been in love with the guy from the start. When he first saw him in the driveway towering above him to when they were just walking into the forest less than an hour ago. Then he grew worried about if Dazai loved him back. He most likely didn't. Chuuya knew that he was going to go through Kouyou's pain and have his heart broken. It was probably going to ruin their friendship as well since he now had no clue how to act around the guy he was so used to relaxing around. But even if he hated himself for it, Chuuya couldn't deny that he was head over heels in love with Dazai.

**
The two got back home early since they were feeling so on edge, and had to apologise to Kyouka for not getting her crêpe countless times.
As they sat in Chuuya's room, both boys felt as though they were being torn up inside. They really wanted to say that they loved each other.

But couldn't.

A/N:
This is a late update, I'm sorry, but I made sure that this one was a bit longer than the last one. Also I've been feeling really productive so I may even start the new chapter now! This chapter murdered me when I was writing it if I'm honest, but the next update will hopefully be a little happier since this one ended on such a sad note.
Thank you for reading!