1939

Chapter 2: Goodbye Brother

The dark light of the dimly lit room was the only company Mikey had as he stood by the door, the wooden floor creaking under his bare feet. He watched the bedroom door with bated breath as he heard rustling coming from within. After what seemed like ages Gerard emerged and slipped a photograph into his pocket. He smiled hesitantly at Mikey, trying not to upset him despite knowing full well what was going to happen next. With fingers that felt like rubber he latched onto the documents drafting him into the war and shoved them into his pocket. Mikey put up a hand and stopped him.
"Come on you can't go out looking like that..." With quiet mumbles he led his brother to the cramped brother, the elder not protesting his brothers actions. Flipping down the toilet seat he sat his brother down and grabbed an old pair of scissors. Carefully he snipped away the long pieces, leaving him with a shorter cut that tucked behind his ears. It was messy but at least he didn't look like a woman and the last thing Mikey wanted was his brother to join the military with long, feminine hair. Even if he would get it short, first impressions mattered.

Placing the scissors down he awkwardly fumbled his way out of the bathroom and stood back by the door. With a heavy heart Gerard smiled and hugged him tightly, never wanting to let go Mikey wrapped his arms around him and buried his head in his shoulder, sobbing quietly.
"I thought you said it would always be just us against the world."
"I know Mikey, I thought it would be but life has a different plan for us." Gerard pulled out a drawing he did and pressed it into Mikey's hand. He whispered, "only look at it when you miss me and promise," he tilted Mikey's head to look at him and smiled with tears in his eyes. "You won't ever forget me, because I will never forget you."

The click of the door startled Mikey as he looked up and finally noted that Gerard had left, and this time he might not come back. Heart heavy, he sat where he was and stared at the closed door. Nausea crawled up his stomach and into his chest, clutching his sides he rocked back and forth as he stared at the splintered wood of the door. Waiting for it to open and Gerard to come waltzing back in he stated anxiously, knowing full well he may never return. A touch on his shoulder made him jump. Half expecting to see Gerard he turned to see Pete, dressed in a white short sleeve shirt he smiled at Mikey. After three weeks of living with him Mikey had expected that he wouldn't be so captivated by his smile but he had only become more intrigued. Each day was a new story with Pete, a new revelation and each time Mikey only fell further for him. His personality was unlike any other he had seen, perhaps that's why he found himself smiling at Pete when he felt his hand on his shoulder. Despite living with him he was still such a mystery, one which Mikey wanted to discover.

Thick German accent greeted Mikey's ears as Pete sat beside him. "It's hard to lose your brother like that but he will be back. He's strong and smart, he will return to you. I can feel it." Mikey smiled and leaned against Pete, heartbeat drumming against his ears as Mikey combed a hand through his now messy hair. He knew the troubles that would come of this but it's not like the world would ever find out. Besides, he was upset and needed comforting, and Pete was there by his side.

"You remember what I said about Germany?" Mikey nodded his head. Pete often spoke of Germany but then again, it was his home. "Germany was strong until the first war. I came along afterwards, 1920. I never knew of the first war but what I did know was of the lack of funds afterwards, the starving children and families, the worthlessness of the money in your pocket. We had nothing at all and I still have nothing. The only good thing I've ever had is you, and Gerard. You've been far too kind to me and so has Gerard. He's a kind person and I know he loves you more than anything and he will do everything in his power to return to you." Mikey smiled and thanked Pete as he fell asleep in his lap, arms dangling over his legs as his glasses fell to the floor. He hadn't slept for days, sick from worry this was the first time he had slept in a while and god knows he needed it. So Pete let him rest, even if Mikey didn't need to he would still let him sleep. He felt safe with him by his side and the gentle heartbeat drumming against his leg only reminded him of everything he had in his life.

He was terrified of the war, that's why he ran and he knew any minute he could be deported back to Germany. That idea scared him but what scared him the most was
the idea that he would have to leave Mikey. He was so alone and vulnerable, and know with Gerard gone he had no one but Pete. It would destroy him to leave him. To leave the only man he ever lov- no, love wasn't possible. Love could only exist between a man and a woman. He had no other reason to question otherwise. After all, this was only a close friendship was it not?

A friendship which made his heart flutter every time they brushed past each other, made his cheeks flush as Mikey smiled at him, the captivated stare of an endearing man as he watched Mikey sleep. A beautiful sense of comfort as he felt the boy twitch slightly in his sleep. He was only 18
and that's what made him so beautiful. He was wise and mature despite being so young and that's what made him Mikey, a smart young man who knew the world as it truly was despite never having travelled it. He need not traverse the landscape to love the world as he could. He slaved away at a pointless job so Pete and Gerard would have a place to stay, a meal to eat, and that's what was so beautiful about him. In a dog eat dog world he was the one giving his life for everyone to be saved. Pete knew from the moment he handed him his glasses that he had met someone special, someone he could never lose. Yet here he was, slipping away before his eyes as his brother was taken away to a world of gunshots and bloodcurdling screams.

Arms wrapped around Mikey he combed through his hair and stared across the apartment. This was his home now, not the house. Mikey. Wherever Mikey was was where he felt at home, where he belonged. Perhaps this is what Germany lacked. He never belonged or felt at home, yet one man who was a stranger only three weeks prior made him feel more at home than he ever had in 19 years.