The Life of a Dead Man

Two

There were actually some days that were good for Zero. Some times he would wake up and not be in immense pain or feel like he didn't have the energy to breathe on his own. He loved and cherished days such as that, seeing as how they only came around once or twice a month, if even that much. He was a fan of waking up and feeling like he did when he was a teenager that didn't have a care in the world, but he instead was normally greeted with the awful reality of being a man that could not live freely. He didn't see the hospital as a place to help him, but rather a prison in which he was kept. He wanted to get out of the bed and run around outside like a child after a rainy day and the sun was shining, but he knew that even with him feeling well, his lungs would never last long enough and his legs would probably buckle after a few minutes as well.

Zero laid on his side, mindful of the IV still lodged on his left hand. He wondered just what it was like to still be a free person, never once wondering what would it would feel like for someone like him to be sitting in that room for the sixth year. Zero knew it was selfish, but he wished that just for one day someone else could be there instead of him. He wished that he could trade places with another person for just one day. However, he had given up on wishes a long time ago. He still remembered the pain he felt when his brother died at only age eleven, and he thanked whatever higher power there was for letting him live longer than that, but he also cursed them for not allowing him to actually live. Zero would have much rather lived six months doing what ever it was that he wish than six years getting false hope and blank faces when they did annual scans.

The only reason he still allowed them to give him chemotherapy was because Yuki would beg him every time to try one more year. Twenty-four more treatments, and then he could give up. He could never say no, for the fear of breaking her heart. She was like a sister to him and he always did his best to keep from hurting her feelings. She was the only one that actually seemed to care about his life. He knew her routine by now, and he knew right when she would walk through the door of his room. He knew she was a nurse for others, but she always got him as well.

"Good morning, sunshine. I brought you some breakfast. I thought that since you didn't eat the past couple of days that you would be hungry. You can warm this up in the microwave later if you'd like. Or I could do it for you, since you don't like leaving your room." she said softly. She set the bag with whatever contents were in it on the rolling table by his bed. Yuki checked his IV and made sure he didn't need any more liquids. "Are you hurting? I can get you some more pain medicine if you are." Yuki told him, per usual. It wasn't any different from any other day.

"I'm okay for now, I'm not hurting right now." he told her truthfully, grabbing the brown paper bag to see what she had gotten him. She wasn't technically allowed to bring patients food or drinks but since he had no limits on what he could eat, she did it anyway. He always complained about the hospital food anyway. He smiled softly when he seen a warm, buttered bagel and some of his favorite jam, blackberry. "How's the weather outside?" Zero asked as he spread some of the jam onto the bread.

"Uhm, it's warm but breezy. The sun is blistering, and the clouds are very few and far between. It's a very nice day out today." Yuki explained to Zero as she pushed some buttons for his weekly EKG. She placed the stickers around on his chest and abdomen before attaching the wires to run the test. He didn't ask any questions or watch her movements, because he had been here many times. He didn't want to see the same thing he had seen a hundred times before. "My brother is coming to visit tomorrow. Maybe he can come in here and chat with you for a little while." she said lightly as she continued with her job. She was chewing on the end of a pen while watching the machine with furrowed brows. Zero would have thought that something was off or she didn't know what she was doing, but that was just how she looked when she was concentrating.

"He's the one with long hair that's always on t.v., right?" Zero asked after thinking for a moment, not sure if he was right or not. She hummed in response. "Eh, I don't think he has time for a cancer patient." he said before crossing his arms behind his head and leaning back. He tried to joke about his illness, but it never seemed to be funny to his nurse. She always got irritated, or had a look of sympathy on her face. "Why would you want me to meet him, anyway?"

"Well, he's going to be here all day, so I don't see why he wouldn't have time for you. Plus, the longer he's here and the more people he sees, the better it will look on him." she informed him, and he snorted. "What?" she asked with a smirk, knowing very well what he was laughing at.

"It's a fucking publicity stunt. Just take him to see every individual child at the hospital, that'll take a lot of time and people are swooned by a man that loves children." Zero said dramatically, making Yuki giggle. Zero would never say that he liked the girl, but he did love to see her happy. He did envy her for a while, knowing that she had the freedoms he would never have again, but he learned to care for her as a good friend seeing as how he was never going to get out of there.

"That's actually what he was going to do originally, go see all of the children that is, but his manager guy told him that he should go see a more diverse crowd. He thinks that it would be better for him to visit sick teens and adults to kind of appeal more to those who have loved ones in the hospital that aren't just children. That and the children don't really know a whole lot about him. And to answer your question, he's a bit of an asshole, and you are too so it seemed like a perfect fit." she explained and Zero simply shrugged.

"Bring him if you want, it's not like I'm going anywhere anytime soon." Zero said in his normal, monotone voice. Yuki smiled and stuck her tongue out at him. "Are you leaving early today?" he asked her and she nodded.

"Yeah, I've got to go to the lady doctor today at two-thirty. I'll be back tomorrow, I promise." she said with a small smile. Zero flashed her a small smile of his own, which made her eyes light up and her to grin even wider than normal. "I'm going to go check on my other patients and then I'll be back before I leave." she told him quietly, placing a soft, cold hand on his cheek.

"No rush, I'll be fine." he told her, honestly. She smiled at him once more before taking her leave and leaving Zero alone to his thoughts. What will this brother of hers be like?