Between Two Worlds (Wattys 2016)

Chapter 21

                 

The weather here today is mild, kind of comfortable, but the wind is a bit annoying. I bind my hair in to a ponytail so the wind can't blow them on my face, making me look like a stupid girl lost in the world. I don't know, but River brings out the worst in me. It's like he provokes me and that pisses me off. Why is he so possessive, so harsh and at the same time so caring to me? What is gone wrong with that guy?

I pass that huge white house which looks like a frat house, that still makes me stare because of it bigness. I wonder who lives there. I pass the little lake which is right next to that house and three roads away I reach Will's house.

We both sit in the garden, writing some new songs, but my head is not working. I can't find any words that might suit to the song and my voice doesn't bring that emotion I always do when I sing. Will notices that.

„What's wrong Abby?" he asks, putting his guitar down and handing me a glass of orange juice.

„With me? Nothing, what should be?" I ask him and take a gulp from my drink.

„You sound weird, you look pale and the way you walk reminds me of penguins. What happened?" he looks at me with a worried look but I can't sneak River.

Maybe I'm just overreacting, maybe I'm thinking way too selfish and don't care about the feelings River has for me. Of course it isn't comparable with mine, but still. He loves me, and the way I shouted at him a few hours ago wasn't right. I tell Will another story and how it seems he believes my story.

I spend my whole afternoon with Will. We didn't make any music because Will realized that I'm not in the mood to do so. We answered some question on YouTube some people asked us. I don't know why, but those stranger outside are really nice to us. I'm really happy about making this account and posting songs every time Will and I have time. We don't do it because we want to have attention. We do it, because I love to sing since I'm a little girl, and Will loves his strings since he was a baby.

Will cooked pasta, which reminded me on River's pasta. That guy is everywhere, too!
Penny called a few minutes after we ate, on Skype. After few minutes of "Do you hear me" and "I can't hear your voice" we finally managed to chat a bit. She looks so beautiful and the more I hear her voice the more I miss her. That blonde girl should move her ass back to me.

R I V E R

„Shut the fuck up. I know what I'm doing."

„You aren't there to play damn Romeo. There is a job you have. I didn't send you for having fun, but to follow the plan!" Drake shouts into the phone. That bastard should watch his tone, he pisses me more off.

„What do you want from me? I gave everything up what you wanted. I'm not drinking, not smoking those damn things, and I kept my distance from girls."

„Kept distance from girls? You're fucking out the brain of that girl, giving her damn hope, and the thing I don't know is, if you mean it serious. Damn you guy, you weren't like-," he stops raising his voice and that entire bull rap annoys me so I take a deep breath from the cigarette.

„Like what? Like I am today? Hm, who made me this way? Listen Drake, if you don't tell father anything it would be much better. And now to Abby: I do have feelings for her, but she should know that it won't be forever. If she thinks I'll stay here for her in Manchester, she is beyond than naive and dumb. And whatever I'm doing with that girl isn't comparable with all the girls there. She is normal. I need her and well, through her I can get what you want so just shut your fucking mouth, she just got home and I know she'll come back to me tonight. So don't annoy me." I say and hang up the call with my brother. He is an asshole.

I throw away the cigarette from the window and put on some perfume, just in case Abby comes in.
I know what I did wasn't nice of me, but she needs to get to know how fucked up real life is. She is still in her unicorn-rainbow phase with nearly 18. All I do is loving her and showing how to deal with that kind of shit. No one said I'll be easy to handle and if she wants me the way I want her, she will have to deal with all the bruises she has. Just as I did.

Suddenly the door opens and I hear footsteps in my room. I look up from the edge of my bed and see her silhouette. She comes between my legs, and without asking I put my arms around her tiny waist and push her closer to me.

„I'm sorry" she says and I look down to her.

I sigh. I can't treat her like the girls in Ireland. I mean look at her how cute she is!  I plant a kiss on her forehead, while squeezing her bum slightly, as she pushes me down to my bed and lays her fragile body on my chest.

She takes off my t-shirt and she starts kissing me from my neck down.
I don't know how she's doing, but every time she touches me, I feel like those damn butterflies in my stomach come alive and start fucking around. Just the same she fucks with my mind. No matter how much she sees, she will never find out how much I really care about her, how much I really desire her. But just as I said it, that damn girl isn't part of this all. And the sad part is: I can't tell her, what this all is about.