Between Two Worlds (Wattys 2016)

Chapter 34

                 

"You won't believe me, but I caught them as they stole the bicycles of their own neighbor." Penny, bursts into laughter and even though her story about Jeremy and Liam wasn't that funny, I still join in. I'm sorry, but my mind is back at yesterday night.

"I don't know if they saw me, but I saw them and remembered their faces. During the following week Mom and I went to the mall and suddenly I saw Jeremy hanging out with his girlfriend. Elly. Oh Abby, she is so beautiful, but unfortunately I couldn't have a conversation with her. He only accompanied to her work and, then I saw him totally alone. While Mom was too busy to care where I am, or what I am doing, I went to Jeremy and asked him about the bicycle. I lied to him and said, that the neighbor, they stole those bicycles of, asked me if I saw the thieves who had stolen it. Suddenly, he bursts into laughter and says to me, that this isn't his neighbor, no he lives there and these were their own bicycles." She gives herself a face-palm and somehow I could imagine the clumsy little Penny, mumbling something totally wrong.

But I can't stop thinking about last night. My Sunday was quiet boring, because all I did, was studying for my test tomorrow, and he made my day better at nighttime. That might sound weird, but somehow I can't have a day without him being nice, horny and all these stuffs to me. I quite miss it, so he made me feel bit better again last night. Even though it was equally harsh and loveless, I, personally kind of enjoy a bit. Well a very small bit, but still.  Somehow the relationship of River and me, reminds me of the song from 'The Cardigan – Lovefool'.

'Love me, love me, say that you love me'

It's about a girl, that loves a boy really bad, but somehow she feels, that he loses his feelings for her.

'Fool me, fool me, go on and fool me'

He barely cares about her and just has his fun with her, while everyone around her says to stay away from him, because he is playing. Her mother tells her she should leave him, and stick to another man who deserves her.

'Love me, love me, pretend that you love me'

She doesn't care if he cares about her, but just want him around her. She is afraid that he leaves her, so she literally tries everything to keep him, somehow.

God damn that song, because I hear it all the time, since I came out from the pub with Penny, but she went a different way, so now I'm listening to a song, which is written in the 80ies and it perfectly describes my god knows what kind of relationship with River.

Nobody knows, and I bet even God is getting mad on me, for creating such a stupid and dumb brown-haired girl, who can't let go of a bastard.

***

That familiar smell of cinnamon and vanilla is calming me, whenever I'm nervous and I love the way his hand is on my shoulder, showing me that he will help me. Help me at the audition.

„Keep doing it, Abby. That's pretty good." He says, and I hear the comforting sound in his voice.

„I try my best, Mr. Richardson." I tell him.

„It's  good." He says as I stop playing.

„Really?" I ask, not quite sure if he says the truth.

„Yes, you just need practice and stop being so nervous. You have talent, and don't stress. The audition is in September, so we still have got whole August." He comforts me, and so we focus back on the notes, the playing and my singing and that familiar gaze is still on my back.

After Mr. Richardson left, totally happy that I'm still wearing his necklace, even though I gave it away before the festival, I decide to learn a bit at the fresh weather in the garden. I take all my papers and head to the garden.

Seriously, should I trust on that owl? Is Mr. Richardson right and does it really lead me to the good things? Does it really help me to see who's right or wrong? Or is he totally losing his mind, since he came back from Greece?  And even if that thing works, how? Is Zeus, helping that little owl around my neck to analyze all the wrong people around me?  Maybe, it works so I'm going to wear that tiny little wooden thing all the time, and if it doesn't do its work, I'll give it Théo to eat it. No just kidding, really!

Just as I was about to learn, I feel those fingers trailing from my neck down my spine a bit. He massages my shoulders, and I know what he wants. After three weeks, I know all of his plays and tricks to get me.

I turn around to face him and see that sparkle inside his eyes. The first sign that I won.

„I missed you." He starts again with that, and without even wanting it, the song from 'the cardigans' pops into my head again.

„You always do." I state and stand up.

Without saying anything he presses his lips against mine, pulls me closer to his body.

'Love me, love me, say that you love me'

In just a matter of minutes, all my papers get into their place and somehow I land in his bed.

'fool me, fool me, go on and fool me'

He undresses me, because somehow that makes him the most pleasure and gets his box again, which is under his bed. I wonder, how many condoms are in that, but then I don't want to know. I take off his T-shirt and that body, so clean, so wonderful built makes me daydream every time. He turns around and I sit on him, only sitting there with my panties and my bra.

I bend down and lick his beautiful belly bottom and trace his V-lines. They look so incredibly good and somehow I get totally excited just looking at them. While I examine his body up until his neck, trying not to miss any inch of his body, he occupies himself with my bra and finally opens it. He tosses it away, somewhere in the room, and flips me around, so he is over me, with the support of his elbows. I wrap my arms around him, and he bends down and pecks my ears down to my collarbones. I flip him around again, so I am back on his chest and rub myself on him, while he tries to get into my panties with his impatient hands.

„Uh-uh" I say and kiss his lips. But even though I tried to keep that kiss as soft as possible, he turns it into a kiss, more passionate and hot. He inserts his tongue into my mouth and they start having their own togetherness, while I'm still rubbing myself on him, stimulating my own senses.

I tug my hands into his hair, which slowly starts to sweat, showing me what kind of an effect I have on him.

He rips off that panties, not caring a button that it actually does hurt me on the other side, but well, he never cares if it hurts or not.  He turns around, getting a condom from under the bed and rolls it over his limb which immediately stiffs and slides into me, the other second. This time he doesn't slides in and out, but just states me to move my hips in circles, and I obey. I always obey, and the time I told him to do something, never came around. I dig my nails into his back and I hear him moan, moan harder and harder. I know, he should be quiet but somehow, he isn't caring at that for the moment. I wonder, how my mother can't hear all these voices, but maybe the walls are thick enough, so she can't hear anything. Luckily.

He presses his body against me, more and more, and I wrap my legs around his waist as well, while I don't forget to do the circles. He groans so many sweet things into my ears, that I always forget the pain, forget the way he treats me, whenever he is pissed off.

I know I'm doing something totally wrong, and maybe that owl around my neck, who unfortunately witnesses all of these things, screams and says I should put on my fucking clothes and just run away. I'm doing the worst thing, and I always realize that, whenever, our little game is over and he pours himself into me and sinks down my chest, kissing my bare skin until he falls asleep. I know I'm doing something wrong, but I don't want to be alone again. I've been lonely for so many years and he is the only one, making me feel, like I fucking exist. 

'Love me, love me, pretend that you love me'

sCs~&