Scorpius to Draco:
Scorpius: I'm about to break it down
Draco: what's going on?
Scorpius: Wiki Wiki.
Draco: Please don't tell me you're drunk.
Scorpius: Here we go
Draco: Get on with it!
Scorpius: Every time I look around, all I ever see
Draco: What do you see?
Scorpius: Is people being jealous, and they wanna look like me
Draco: Don't you think you're being a bit arrogant?
Scorpius: I got Tyler, Ricky, Flula, Joshua, and Joey too
Draco: I didn't know you were gay.
Scorpius: My uncle and Lohanthony,
Draco: YOUR UNCLE! THATS GROSS!
Scorpius: but I'm my favorite boo
Draco: This is a little awkward, Scorpius.
Scorpius: I got a lot more, but I forgot who they are
Draco: ?!?!?! *facewall* *facewall*
Scorpius: Sorry not sorry, I'm just a superstar.
Draco: You're confusing yourself with Harry Potter.
Scorpius: I've got lots of baes, and you're wondering how I do
Draco: Nope, not interested.
Scorpius: Take a little listen, and I'll find a bae for you.
Draco: NOOOOO!
Scorpius: Hey, where my baes at?
Draco: This is weird.
Scorpius: Where my baes at?
Draco: *questioning his life decisions*
Scorpius: I got so many baes, man I'll teach you how to get one too!
Draco: THIS IS MORE TORTURE THAN BEING TURNED INTO A FERRET SAVE ME WITH KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS!
Scorpius: But first let's do a dance break.
Draco: you're a dreadful dancer.
Scorpius: Break it down
Draco: The worst I've ever seen
Scorpius: Here we go! This is how I twerk!
Draco: I'm not dancing. WAIT WHAT?! MY SON IS TWERKING?! THAT IS NOT A MALFOY CHARACTERISTIC!
Scorpius: Looking sexy.
Draco: WTF?!?!
Scorpius: What up? What up?
Draco: *nauseated*
Scorpius: Ok, this dance break is long enough can we keep going on with the song?
Draco: What song? You're texting me!
Scorpius: If you really want a bae, here is what you do:
Draco: What do I do?
Scorpius: Wear lots of lipstick, and hold in all your poo
Draco: Ummm... why are you talking to your father about this?
Scorpius: Sing to him lots, and tell him that you're great
Draco: You're a terrible singer too. I would hate to see you try (and fail)
Scorpius: Bring a daddy saddle on your first date.
Draco: A DADDY SADDLE?! Plz tell me ur not drunk.
Scorpius: Call him every night, and call him every morn
Draco: I would hate you so much if you did that to me. That's a S. T. A. L. K. E. R., Scorpius, not a boyfriend.
Scorpius: Hide outside his window, and don't dress porn
Draco: Can you dress porn? I don't think that's possible.
Scorpius: Tell him he's your bae, and he's got no choice
Draco: You're acting very scary, Scorpius.
Scorpius: But most importantly, don't forget to keep it moist
Draco: SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY THAT IS ENOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE INTOXICATED IM PICKING YOU UP FROM LUCIUS'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW!
Scorpius: Hey, where my baes at? Where my baes at?
Draco: IM COMING TO KILL MY FATHER.
Scorpius: Hey, where my baes at? Now you can get one too
Draco: DREADFUL ADVICE.
Scorpius. Hey, where my baes at? Where my baes at?, I got so many baes, girl, now you can get one too!
Draco: SCORPIUS HYPERION ANSWER ME HONESTLY ARE YOU TWERKING, DRUNK AND CONSTANTLY CALLING YOUR PARTNER TO THE POINT OF STALKING!!
Scorpius: Ummm... father...? I'm so sorry Father that was so awkward that was a lyric prank.
Draco: That's good, I was worried about your mental health for a second. Who the h**l would write that?
Scorpius: Miranda Sings.
Draco: I JUST GOOGLED HER. I laughed my head off. But very bad singing.
Scorpius: U still picking me up?
Draco: No.
Scorpius: Good. Cuz I get to crash Bellatrix's anniversary party.
Draco: She'll kill you. HOW IS SHE NOT DEAD?!
Scorpius: Lucius got a hold of the resurrection stone
Draco: I finally found something worse than you telling me to hold in all my poo. I am defeated.
Scorpius: YOUR FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!
Draco: Don't mock me.
Scorpius: Cash me outside, how bout dah?
Draco: No. just no. I got hurt.
Scorpius: that's what she said
