Where My Baes At?

97 6 3
                                    

Scorpius to Draco:

Scorpius: I'm about to break it down

Draco: what's going on?

Scorpius: Wiki Wiki.

Draco: Please don't tell me you're drunk.

Scorpius: Here we go

Draco: Get on with it!

Scorpius: Every time I look around, all I ever see

Draco: What do you see?

Scorpius: Is people being jealous, and they wanna look like me

Draco: Don't you think you're being a bit arrogant?

Scorpius: I got Tyler, Ricky, Flula, Joshua, and Joey too

Draco: I didn't know you were gay.

Scorpius: My uncle and Lohanthony,

Draco: YOUR UNCLE! THATS GROSS!

Scorpius: but I'm my favorite boo

Draco: This is a little awkward, Scorpius.

Scorpius: I got a lot more, but I forgot who they are

Draco: ?!?!?! *facewall* *facewall*

Scorpius: Sorry not sorry, I'm just a superstar.

Draco: You're confusing yourself with Harry Potter.

Scorpius: I've got lots of baes, and you're wondering how I do

Draco: Nope, not interested.

Scorpius: Take a little listen, and I'll find a bae for you.

Draco: NOOOOO!

Scorpius: Hey, where my baes at?

Draco: This is weird.

Scorpius: Where my baes at?

Draco: *questioning his life decisions*

Scorpius: I got so many baes, man I'll teach you how to get one too!

Draco: THIS IS MORE TORTURE THAN BEING TURNED INTO A FERRET SAVE ME WITH KEEPING UP WITH THE KARDASHIANS!

Scorpius: But first let's do a dance break.

Draco: you're a dreadful dancer.

Scorpius: Break it down

Draco: The worst I've ever seen

Scorpius: Here we go! This is how I twerk!

Draco: I'm not dancing. WAIT WHAT?! MY SON IS TWERKING?! THAT IS NOT A MALFOY CHARACTERISTIC!

Scorpius: Looking sexy.

Draco: WTF?!?!

Scorpius: What up? What up?

Draco: *nauseated*

Scorpius: Ok, this dance break is long enough can we keep going on with the song?

Draco: What song? You're texting me!

Scorpius: If you really want a bae, here is what you do:

Draco: What do I do?

Scorpius: Wear lots of lipstick, and hold in all your poo

Draco: Ummm... why are you talking to your father about this?

Scorpius: Sing to him lots, and tell him that you're great

Draco: You're a terrible singer too. I would hate to see you try (and fail)

Scorpius: Bring a daddy saddle on your first date.

Draco: A DADDY SADDLE?! Plz tell me ur not drunk.

Scorpius: Call him every night, and call him every morn

Draco: I would hate you so much if you did that to me. That's a S. T. A. L. K. E. R., Scorpius, not a boyfriend.

Scorpius: Hide outside his window, and don't dress porn

Draco: Can you dress porn? I don't think that's possible.

Scorpius: Tell him he's your bae, and he's got no choice

Draco: You're acting very scary, Scorpius.

Scorpius: But most importantly, don't forget to keep it moist

Draco: SCORPIUS HYPERION MALFOY THAT IS ENOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE INTOXICATED IM PICKING YOU UP FROM LUCIUS'S HOUSE RIGHT NOW!

Scorpius: Hey, where my baes at? Where my baes at?

Draco: IM COMING TO KILL MY FATHER.

Scorpius: Hey, where my baes at? Now you can get one too

Draco: DREADFUL ADVICE.

Scorpius. Hey, where my baes at? Where my baes at?, I got so many baes, girl, now you can get one too!

Draco: SCORPIUS HYPERION ANSWER ME HONESTLY ARE YOU TWERKING, DRUNK AND CONSTANTLY CALLING YOUR PARTNER TO THE POINT OF STALKING!!

Scorpius: Ummm... father...? I'm so sorry Father that was so awkward that was a lyric prank.

Draco: That's good, I was worried about your mental health for a second. Who the h**l would write that?

Scorpius: Miranda Sings.

Draco: I JUST GOOGLED HER. I laughed my head off. But very bad singing.

Scorpius: U still picking me up?

Draco: No.

Scorpius: Good. Cuz I get to crash Bellatrix's anniversary party.

Draco: She'll kill you. HOW IS SHE NOT DEAD?!

Scorpius: Lucius got a hold of the resurrection stone

Draco: I finally found something worse than you telling me to hold in all my poo. I am defeated.

Scorpius: YOUR FATHER WILL HEAR ABOUT THIS!

Draco: Don't mock me.

Scorpius: Cash me outside, how bout dah?

Draco: No. just no. I got hurt.

Scorpius: that's what she said

Harry Potter Lyric PranksWhere stories live. Discover now