How to date a Nerd

Chapter 9

I can totally handle two personalities.

Oh. My. Gosh. That was one of the best afternoons of my life. Yes, I stalled the car about fifty times. Yes, I talked about my nasty ex-boyfriend. Yes, I bawled my eyes dry. But I can't stop smiling. I thought I couldn't like Lauren any more than I already did, but all the scrunched up queasy feelings turned into a riot in my belly the second she put her hand on mine.

Boy, am I in trouble.

And I'm totally on a high! I want to scream it out to someone. Dance around and squeal and do all that stuff girls do with their girlfriends when they meet THE One. It totally sucks 'cause I can't.  Just to get it out. Make it official that I'm totally into her and then maybe I can push it away forever.

I blow up my cheeks and pull my laptop out. All I have to do is show a little bit of control. I don't have to go all-out nerd with Dinah. Just tell her I'm into a girl and like, it's totally awesome. Then she can squeal and show the proper enthusiasm without actually knowing who it is.

I can do this. No problem.

I log on and see Dinah's online. Sweet! I open a chat window and start typing.

Waakemeup: Hey girl!

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: hi! What u up to?

Waakemeup: Nothing. just got home.

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: from where? I thought u were grounded?

Waakemeup : from my old friends. not from new ones. ;)

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: OMG! spill!

Waakemeup : not much to tell. ;)

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: Walz come on! tell me!

Waakemeup: just a girl.

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: who????

Waakemeup : no one u know. but she's amazing!

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: not gonna tell me? Camila, I'm ur best bud!

Waakemeup : I know. I wanna see where it's going first.

Dinahisthebestpersonintheworld: gotcha. glad ur in a better mood.

Waakemeup: me too.

See, totally can handle this. I tell Dinah a quick good night and shut off the computer. Since I'm "grounded" I probably shouldn't be using it a lot anyway. It'll help Geek Control too.

I'm still smiling as I dress for bed. When I shimmy off my tight jeans and low-cut blouse, it's only then I realize Lauren's eyes never lingered over my body. At least, not that I noticed. She always kept her gaze locked on my face, or my hands. Maybe that's why things are so different with her. She's not constantly ogling me.

Wait a minute. Maybe she doesn't think I'm attractive enough to ogle. I run to the full-length mirror. I'm only in my underwear, but it gives me the opportunity to assess everything.

I guess I'm a little too curvy. I have some love handles, but all girls have those right? Except for those freaky skinny ones. I've always been proud of my boobs, but maybe it's the bra making them look so big and perky. I cringe as I adjust myself, trying to see if I fill the underwear properly. After a few minutes of tugging at it, I huff and slink my arms down to my sides, smacking my hips.

Agh! My hips are so wide! And I have thunder thighs. I bring my arm up and play with the sagging fat by my armpit. I've heard all girls have this too, but mine is nasty. How did I ever think I was hot?

Lauren's phone rings, which jolts me out of my boob dancing and fat flailing. It's her house phone, and the answering machine picks up right away, which I can hear loud and clear. Mrs. Jauregui's sweet voice echoes through the open window. You've reached Clara and Lauren. Leave a message and we'll get back to you when we can. BEEP.

There's silence for a brief moment, and I figure whoever it is decided to hang up, but then a deep voice, one I haven't heard in over three years, stammers from the line.

Hi, Lauren. I-It's Dad. Just wanted to see h-how you were. You know school and stuff.

Dad?! I must've heard that wrong. I stick my head out my window so my ears don't lie to me again. No way is Lauren's dad calling her.

Um, if you get this before tomorrow, I'm gonna be at the Econo Lodge in Sante Fe. Room 25, so if you want to call me back, that's where I'll be. He pauses. So, yeah. I guess I'll... Another pause.

L-love you. CLICK. Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit. Lauren can not hear that message. After years of silence, Lauren wrote her dad off, and this? It would destroy her. And even thinking about the effect it'll have on her mom makes me shudder.

What do I do? I mean, I could rush over and delete the dang thing before Lauren gets home. I don't know where the crap she is, or how long she'll be gone, but I know where her hide-a-key is. I can be quick. Or should I even worry about it? She's not my friend, right? I mean, not in public.

Ugh! What the hell do I do?! I know what I should do. Get that message off her phone. It's totally meddling, but I can't even imagine the look on her face if she hears it. I don't want to see her lose it like I lost it today. I don't want to see her in that much pain. Especially if I can prevent it.

I pull on my "Mr. Hyde" sweatshirt which couldn't be more ironic with all my mood swings today, and a light from Lauren's driveway catches my eye.

Dammit! She's home! Forget the hide-a-key. Forget the front door altogether. I gotta get over there stat! I take a deep breath and a few steps back from the window. I haven't done this in so long, I hope I'm still capable without getting hurt. I launch myself outside, hooking my hands on Lauren's window ledge.

Yikes! At least I didn't miss. I pull up slowly—thank you fourth-period gym!—and a sliver digs itself into my thigh.

Holy crap, that hurt!

I hop into her room, ignoring the throbbing from the dang sliver and try not to breathe in too much because of how distracted Lauren's amazing scent would make me. I cross over to the answering machine which I'm so glad is in her room in the first place and I don't have to book it to the kitchen.

Oh gosh, how do I work this thing?

Right as I find the delete button, Lauren's door swings open.