How to date a Nerd

Chapter 16

I think my mind is becoming bi-polar.

It's freezing outside, and Lauren offers her jacket to me, even though we're only walking like ten feet. "Thanks." She nods, squeezing her hands into her front pockets. I stop at my door, turning around to look at her at the bottom of my porch.

This is so crazy. My mind is trying to hit the rewind button to let me know how the heck I ended up here. Not at my porch, but like, in this situation. My used-to-be best friend not wanting anything to do with me. And me still wanting everything with her. Even after all the drinking and trying to forget the hole I've put myself in, I still... I still want her.

Even more, I want what I had with her. She turns to leave, and I blurt the only thing running through my aching head. "Let me make it up to you." She stops, tripping a little as her mouth hangs open. "W-what was that?"

My eyes go straight to my feet and I do a blowfish imitation. "I want to make it up to you. I want to try, I mean do you think it's possible for us to be friends again?" Gosh, please say yes. She cocks her eyebrow and my stomach trips over itself. "Honestly? I don't know."

I take a deep breath, making sure it doesn't stay in my cheeks. "What if I could prove to you I can be your friend?" Her mouth turns upward into that unbelievably sexy smile. "How?"

How? How? Hmm... Oh! "Will you take me for another driving lesson?" She hesitates, giving me the are-you-serious expression. "I promise I won't hit your seat release. And maybe we could go out to dinner or something." I say. "Like in public?" Her smile comes back, and I have to remember what the crap I was saying.

"Yeah." My voice falters, shaking so bad with the decision I'm making. What she said this morning-all of it-makes sense. I can't be ashamed of her anymore. Or myself. I know it's easier said than done, but I'm going to try to get Geek Camila to win the battle over insecurity.

She goes up the steps to stand on the porch, coming so close her breath tickles my nose as she searches my eyes. She won't find anything. I'm being sincere.

"Okay," she says taking a step back. "What time?"

As soon as possible. I don't know how much longer I can wait to be with her again. "Uh, five?" I wish I would've offered lunch instead, but I think I need to sleep off the rest of this hangover.

"Today?" "Yeah," I answer quickly. "Are you sure you're up for that? I mean, even with that stuff I gave you, you're probably dealing with a huge headache."

Yes, but I don't care. "I'll sleep it off."

For whatever reason, this makes her ears go bright red, and she wipes her hands on her jeans. "S-sounds good, I guess. I'll come by at five, but if you're still feeling like junk, we're not going anywhere." She leaps off the steps, smiling at her perfect landing before she turns back to me. "Oh, and Camila?"

"Yeah?" I answer. "I really hope you're being serious. I don't think I have much forgiveness left." I nod, hoping my enthusiasm will show I'm not going to disappoint her. 'Cause I won't.

I won't. Right?

She smiles. "See ya tonight, then."

A goofy smile takes shape on my face as I watch her walk away, happy she didn't ask for her jacket back. I curl into it, breathing in her smell and trying to forget how awful a person I am to her. When I get to my room, I talk to myself in the mirror. "All right. Listen up," I say pointing a disciplining finger at my reflection. "You've got one shot to fix this. Don't. Screw. It. Up. You've hurt her too much. You can't do it again."

Suddenly, my worried and neurotic behavior rears its ugly head. What if someone sees us? "It doesn't matter," I answer myself in the mirror.

What if they spread rumors I'm into all that geeky stuff? "It would be true. It's nothing to be ashamed of." But it is! No one would look at me the same."Do you like the way they look at you now?"