Novel Jumper

Chapter Fourteen

When Winfrith shook Lilia awake, she was not at all ready to leave her slumber. Since she had spent a good portion of the night on the roof in companionable silence with Connor, she had gotten very little concrete and was exhausted as a result.

She moaned and rolled over so that her face was pressed into the back of the chair in which she had been sleeping. It was a tactic she used when her mother was waking her for school or a particularly early social function that Lilia did not want to attend - even though it made no sense, Lilia's instinct was always to hide her face and hope they would go away.

"Get up," Winfrith said exasperatedly, obviously not at all willing to put up with her tiredness. It was a sight different from her mother's tactic, which was usually bribery with pancakes or opening Lilia's curtains so the sun shone in her eyes. Yawning, Lilia sat up and waited a few seconds before she carefully stood so that she wouldn't get a head rush.

Connor was already awake and eating what looked like oatmeal. Lilia's spirits lifted - she loved oatmeal.

Sure enough, the warm food was exactly like the stuff on Earth. It made her feel more awake and alert as it filled her empty stomach.

As Winfrith went outside to refill his bird feeders and check on the Whippers (Lilia suspected that as much as Winfrith badmouthed the creatures, he actually enjoyed their presence), Lilia scooted closer to Connor.

"How're you doing?" she asked gently.

"Fine," he muttered, staring into his nearly empty bowl.

"Don't do this," Lilia pleaded.

"Do what?" Connor asked defensively.

"You're shutting me out. I know you don't have any room for stupid sentimental stuff and usually, I don't either - but I'm kinda sick of seeing you like this. You are in pain and one of the ways to not be in pain is to talk about it."

"I don't want to."

"I didn't ask if I wanted to," Lilia said. She wasn't taking any of this today. "Just tell me what's going on. Please."

"Fine." Connor set down his bowl very deliberately and turned to her. She sensed a storm building within him. "I am sick and tired of living this way. Just when I start to get close to someone, start to open up to them, I lose them. They die or they leave or - or - whatever. And I'm right back where I started. So I tell myself that nope, I'm never letting that happen again. I'm not letting anyone get close because if they see what a colossal screw-up I am, they'll run or nature will intervene and kill them. But then someone comes along and they do what you're doing right now, they talk me up and convince me that they can help and make it hurt less - and then they leave. Over and over, I've watched it happen. Don't try to tell me it won't because, wolf cub, you're next on the list." His voice was getting increasingly faster and intense. He never broke eye contact with her.

"What are you saying?" Lilia asked slowly. Is he implying that he cares about me enough to not want me to leave?

Connor sighed and buried his face in his hands. "I don't know," he muttered, voice muffled.

Lilia took a deep breath. "I'm not trying to say I can help you, Connor. I'm not some professional therapist who can make all of your problems just go away. But then again, can anyone, really? I don't want to sound cheesy, but your problems are what make you, you."

"That's what I'm afraid of," Connor said darkly. "You know all that I've done." His voice was bitter as they both remembered just why Lilia knew about him.

"Actually, I don't." Lilia shook her head. "Just because I've read about one year of your life doesn't mean I have your entire story memorized front to back. Novels usually don't include the little stuff about supporting characters, stuff like how you lost your first tooth or who your friends were when you were little or what you spent your free time before the story doing. That stuff doesn't make for an interesting book."