Speak To a Girl

Chapter 12

Faith POV: 

I sit on the edge of his bed, holding onto his hand as the doctor walks over to the machine. His finger hovers over the button which turns all the machines off, cutting off life support. He looks over at Betty and I, allowing us to say our final remarks. 

"Love you baby..." Betty says, running her fingers through his hair, before taking a step back. 

"Love you, Tim." I let out, feeling the tears begin to burn my eyes. Betty nods at the doctor, signaling him to press the button. He hits it, turning off the ventilator and all the other pumps attached to him. I watch the heart rate monitor begin to take a nosedive. He turns off the sound on the monitor, so when he flatlines it isn't so harsh. He then leaves us to spend our final few minutes with him. 

Mack walks into the room hesitantly, before sitting across the bed from Betty and I. He places his hand on Tim's arm, and shuts his eyes. 

We sit for twenty minutes, watching his heart rate fall further and further, in complete silence. The sound of a pin drop in a room this silent would sound like a nuclear bomb. 

"Ahh..." I hear someone rasp. I look at Tim to see his eyes are open, but he's struggling to breathe. I stare for a moment, blinking quickly to try and see if I'm hallucinating. "Mmm..." He grunts, his chest tensing and releasing as he tries harder to force air in. I look over at Betty and Mack and see that they're just as they were before. He then grips my hand and practically crushes it, his lips starting to appear blue. 

"Mack?" I call, watching his eyes turn toward me. 

"Yeah, darlin'?" He lets out, speaking to me for the first time in what seems like a lifetime. 

"Am I going crazy?" I cry, before pointing toward Tim. He follows my finger, staring for a moment, before standing up and sprinting out of the room. Betty follows before sitting on the edge of her seat. 

"Tim? Honey... You're going to be alright..." She reassures him, as tears start to stream down his cheeks, his inability to breathe becoming excruciating. Mack returns with a nurse, who places an oxygen mask over his mouth, before a doctor comes in to put the breathing tube back in. He clings to my hand the entire time. 

"Tim, you were in a car accident. Can you follow my finger?" The doctor quizzes. Tim follows his finger with his eyes precisely as he asked. "You received some major head trauma, so you may be feeling some discomfort currently. As you heal, we will work to address whatever discomfort you have." He explains gently. I sit in utter disbelief, as Tim looks at me, his look telling me all I need to know. 

A Week Later

"Mentally, he's progressing much further than we could've hope for. Physically, he's doing very well too. He just needs to work on normalcy and rehab." His doctor explains. I sit patiently while Betty listens to every detail. They allow me to leave halfway through so they can talk insurance, letting me roam the halls for air. 

I spot Mack wandering the hall, and I rush toward him. He doesn't seem very happy though... 

"He's not all there..." He lets out as I reach him. I narrow my eyes at him, a little caught off guard. He notes my confusion. "He just... He seems different. That light... it's gone... I just..." He rambles, slowly walking with me back toward his room. 

Tim sits up in his bed, his arm casted, and dark circles around his eyes. His lips blend with his pale skin, as his short hair slowly grows back. He watches me as I walk in, breaking a small smile, before exhaustion forces it to slowly disappear. He grips onto the rail on his bed, as if he were uncomfortable. 

"Hey! How are you feeling?" I ask, sitting down beside his bed and grabbing his hand. Mack stands back by the door, as Tim slowly considers what to say. 

"Were you there?" His voice rasps softly, his drooping eyes looking at me intensely. I stare for a moment, before taking a deep breath. 

"Where?" I respond. He swallows hard, looking at Mack, before looking back at me. He sighs, staring at his lap. 

"The place I was in the coma." He tries to describe. My heart stops. I never really understood if it was real or not. It seemed to be too crazy to be true, and I just felt like it was how my mind thought to cope... I sit for a second, looking into his eyes. 

"Ye--" I start lightly, before Mack begins to talk, cutting our conversation short. 

"You feeling like you can eat today?" Mack pipes out, placing a tray on Tim's lap full of easy to eat food. Tim stares at it, breathing slowly, as if he were intimidated by it all. He grabs a spoonful of applesauce and raises it to his mouth uncomfortably, before taking a bite. He swallows it forcefully, wincing a bit as he does so. He looks at me, a slight frown on his face, his exhausted eyes screaming. I find it hard to force a smile... Maybe Mack is right. Maybe he is different... 

Tim takes a few more bites, while I sit quietly, my mind racing and my chest aching. What if he's gone? What if the boy I knew is completely gone, and all that's in front of me is a shell? I grip onto my chair, and stare at Mack, watching him analyze Tim. He brushes Tim's hair back with his fingers, before looking away, as if it were painful for him to see Tim like this.  

"What were you asking me earlier?" I ask Tim softly. He stares at me for a minute, before shaking his head. 

"It's nothing." He responds, looking back down at the tray. His voice sounds different, which kills me a bit. Mack looks my way, and frowns, before I decide I need a moment to breathe. I rush out into the hallway, gasping loudly as I try to catch my breath. I've never experienced this before... this whole idea that he looks like someone I once knew... 

"Calm down, Audrey..." Mack says, coming out of the room and wrapping his arms around me. He rubs my back, before leading me to a bench to sit down. My hands are trembling while I sit, trying to keep tears from falling. 

"He's gone..." I let out, making Mack wince. He breathes slowly, trying to think of the words to say that'll console me. "And the baby... Oh my god, I can't... I can't raise a kid with a complete stranger..." I ramble, forcing him to shut his eyes tightly. 

"Does he know about the pregnancy?" He asks quietly. I shake my head, my heart pounding, as I lay my head in my hands. "Have you thought about what you're going to do with it?" He continues. I turn my head to look toward him, before shaking slowly. He nods in response. 

"I can't put it in foster care, or adopt it out... I don't want them going through what I did..." I let out lightly. He nods once again, seeming a little upset. 

"That leaves two options..." He responds. I stare slowly, hugging myself now. "You know, you could give her to Kim and I to take care of for a while..." He suggests, brushing my hair over my shoulder. 

"Her?" I croak out, looking at him closely. He smiles. 

"I feel like it's going to be a girl." He explains, making me feel a little nauseous. 

"I can't trouble you guys like that..." I reply, looking down my torso, noticing the smallest bump. 

"Are you going to tell him?" He questions. I stare for a moment, placing my hand over the bump before shaking my head. 

"No... not if I'm going to..." I start, before stopping myself. He grabs my hand and nods, offering support, but mournfully. 

A few hours later, I walk down to the clinic, alone. I sit patiently in the waiting room, holding a small pamphlet full of information about the procedure, while staring straight forward, debating if I'm making a huge mistake. 

"Audrey?" A doctor calls, sparing me a smile as I stand up and walk back into her office. She speaks to me in a calm manner, but I don't hear a word she's saying. She sets my legs up on stirrups, before handing me a clipboard and pen. 

"This gives us written permission, saying that you approve of the abortion." She explains. I sign it quickly, in hopes it'll make her stop talking. She begins to mess around with some equipment, making my chest pound. I shake as my mind races nonstop. 

I can't do this...