Nightblood

Chapter 4: An Unanswered Question.

I slept in Lexa's room that night, but my sleep was restless. I dreamt of her sitting by my side in the woods of her ancestors.  My head was leaning against her shoulder as we sat in that peaceful moment. I felt a water droplet fall upon my face. Turning to glance up at my Heda I saw tears in her eyes. She looked out at the rays of sunshine that broke through the trees, her face full of sorrow. Her voice quivered as she spoke to me, "I never wanted to leave you."
"I know," I uttered back as tears welled in my eyes. Pulling her close to me I once again leaned my head against her.
Looking down I could see her blood soaked shirt clinging her body. I put my hand over the bullet wound and felt the black blood upon it. She sighed, "You can't fix this."
My hand pressed against her as I pleaded, "I need you, Lexa. I need you to be by my side."
She took my hand away from the  gunshot wound and laced her fingers around mine. Kissing me gently upon the lips she whispered softly, "I'll always be with you."  
As I woke, I turned for a moment to the other side of the bed, foolishly hoping to find Lexa there but only an empty space remained. My heart filled with sorrow but also the need to find the answer to a question that plagued my mind and my dreams.

I prepared all needed for my journey with Indra, but before leaving Polis I had one last thing to do. I breathed deeply before being allowed entry to a concrete cell. In there sat a troubled looking Jaha, a prisoner of Polis. I'd heard for the first few hours back in the real world, he was unable to cope, tearing at his hair and flesh. They'd shaved his head and bound his hands to prevent further harm, "Have you come to deliver me to my fate?" By the tone of his voice he expected an execution.
"No. Although, after what you've done I expect the clans will ask for your head," I answered.
"Maybe I deserve it." His voice was full of remorse.
"Maybe you do. All of that death out there is on you, but we'll all pay the price for what you've done. Don't think for one second the grounders won't blame the rest of Skaikru as well." I growled at him, my words full of spite.
"I'm sorry," tears welled in his eyes, "I'm so sorry."
I looked at this burdened man before me, but I had no compassion to offer him, "I don't want your sorrow or your self pitty. I want to know one thing. Did she survive?" He looked up at me, confused at first until the realisation set in. I continued on, "Did her consciousness survive your attack in The City of Light?"
Jaha's voice quivered as he replied, "The last I saw of Lexa, she was fighting off the attack. When I saw the portal to the kill switch dissappear I left The City of Light. I don't know what became of her. Clarke, I'm..."
I glared back at him, "Don't! Just don't! If we survive what's to come, I'll give you to the grounders myself. Don't expect my mercy."
With that I turned and walked away. My question still remained unanswered. My dreams still haunted.

After leaving Jaha to dwell in his sorrow inside his prisoner cell, I made my way outside to meet with Indra. Polis was still in a state of devastation. Blood covered the ground and the bodies of the dead were still being removed. A few of the crosses that had been built to torture those who refused the chip still stood, a grim reminder of what had happened. I knew we had very little time until the clans made their move for power. It was imperative that we travelled fast to speak with Thayer.
As Indra and I saddled our horses, my mother and the others came to say their farewells. She looked exhausted from tending to King Roan's injuries for most of the night. The bullet wound to his shoulder was severe but treatable. I had my concerns about leaving him to his own devises in The Capital. Like the other clans, Azgeda would no doubt make their own move for power. Now that Lexa was gone, Ontari lay dead and Queen Nia was a distant memory, The King had the freedom to pursue The Commanders throne if he so desired. This all weighed heavy on my mind.
I climbed onto my horse and prepared to leave. Bellamy handed me a bag of supplies and wished me luck, "Stay safe. Come back alive." I nodded before urging my horse onward. We left Polis behind in search of a stranger that would either help us or hinder us. At this point I knew nothing about Thayer. Indra was incredibly guarded about the details of her life. I hoped she'd have a sense of reason like her sister, an open mind to see the bigger picture of what we all now faced.
As we reached the treeline of The Commanders woods, we stopped to look back at Polis Tower. It's flame still burned bright, but for how long? With Lexa's sword on my back and The Flame next to my heart, I made my vow to her just as she once made her vow to me, "I will not see your legacy fall. I will not give up, Heda." I loved her too much to allow that.