My Personal Observations

Advice to those who believe ! Part 4 (Parenting)

"O you who have believed, protect yourselves and your families from a Fire whose fuel is people and stones, over which are [appointed] angels, harsh and severe; they do not disobey Allah in what He commands them but do what they are commanded."

[Qur'an : Chapter #66 (Surat At-Tahrim: The Prohibition) Verse #6]

Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said, "When a man dies, his deeds come to an end except for three things: Sadaqah Jariyah (ceaseless charity); a knowledge which is beneficial, or a virtuous descendant who prays for him (for the deceased)."

-Muslim #4005

If you have read all the previous chapters you know about finding the truth , and how to implement the truth in your life so that you start the positive change within yourself first and foremost and then preach the message of truth to your surroundings starting from your own home, then to friends, relatives and finally to general public. Everyone knows that the most important block in the building of a state is its youth , because it's the youth that replaces the old. Newer generations replace older generations, so now our focus (being Muslims I.e. Those who submits their Will to The Will of Allah) is on the next generation.

This chapter is all about advices to parents , for them to learn how to bring up their kids (Next Generation). Firstly , parents should have clear basic concepts and should belong to the first category (mentioned in 2nd chapter "types of people"). They should know about which education should be prioritized upon the children. Remember , knowledge of science is important (worldly knowledge) but even if you or your children has a PhD in Physics or even have won a noble price but is unaware of basic questions of Where he came from ? , Who is the Creator?, Why was he created ? And where he is going after this life , then if that "knowledgeable" person dies in this state then what did he achieved ? Will he be going to asked about his PhD degree at the day of judgement ? Or he will get some compensation because of his noble price ?. Summary of this paragraph is that , parents should know about the priority of type of education that they are going to give to their children.

From where I came from , the culture over there is that you're a respectable human only if you're an Engineer or a Doctor otherwise you're humiliated in every walk of life. Reason for this ? Monkey see, Monkey do culture. Parents seeing their nephews , or friends kids achieving so much in life (in terms of materialistic gains) so they conclude that if our kid follows the same pattern he/she would also get so much in terms of materialistic gains and they can boast their kids achievement in gatherings ( e.g my son scored this much marks , my daughter got admission in that institution, my child is settled abroad etc.). While forgetting the basic concept that the sustenance is in the hands of Allah alone, it's only Allah who grants to whomever He wills and takes from someone how much He wills. Success is only in the hands of Allah alone, He give success to whomever He wills and gives loss to whomever He wills. Allah does all of this to test who is a true believer. And Indeed ! It's a great test.

I always ask my friends about how their family treats them , and majority of times I find depressing and sad answers. Children share their feelings with strangers outside home , because how their parents treat them or had treated them the first time they shared something wrong they did. It's up to a parent that they treat children like best friends so that they are comfortable in sharing anything to them or being like dictators and reacting on even small things (negative reactions) so that the children starts to fell depression and hide their thoughts from their parents and share the thoughts with strangers and accepts advice of the strangers over their parents because the strangers listened to their feelings and thoughts at first place. So basically those "dictator" parents put their children life in the hands of strangers , and then if the strangers are bad they can mislead those children very easily. (Note , being a friend doesn't mean you are lenient in everything , tell them where they are wrong but tell them in a way that doesn't involve making them scared for life).