The Final Moment

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 I cannot move, the pain tears through my body in spasms… The doctor is in attendance as I grip Marion’s hand tightly, at least the poor child will be free of her death bed duties soon. Then she will be reunited with Peter, Marion told me this morning that Peter is coming but I do not think he will have the chance to say goodbye to me… There’s a flooding sensation of relief as the pain subsides, the morphine dulls my senses and I drift away. I am frightened I won’t know who my husband is if he does not come soon, that I will fall into a deep sleep and he won’t be able to wake me. I must see you again Jack. Hurry my love, there is so little time…

 “Am I too late?”

 There are voices and a commotion beneath me, I hear someone running up the stairs. I open my eyes and Jack is standing there, it is as though the years have fallen away. The image is startling I catch my breath. Marion is standing in the doorway, staring at the scene anxiously, I smile and nod at my daughter-in-law, understanding my meaning she leaves us alone. 

 “You came…Why do you always leave it until the final moments Captain?”

 I feel strangely at peace as Jack sits down beside my bed for my husband has come home to me. Jack smiles briefly, remembering those words from another lifetime.

 “Thank God your letter came in time. I wanted to be here for you. And I’ll always be there for your family Bella if those are your wishes, I’ll watch over them.”

 I smile and nod at Jack’s declaration as he eagerly reaches across the bed and tenderly rests his strong hands upon my wasted hands.

 It’s strange seeing the same man in the photograph. Jack Harkness still young and unaltered. I expected this but it’s still a shock. Jack’s immortality which I liken to a rebirth means he is frozen in time for all eternity. I fully understand now what Jack meant when he once told me he was blessed and cursed. I can quite clearly see the pain and helplessness in his eyes as he gazes upon me, his once young bride. Over thirty years have passed, I am old, lying in bed defeated by time, my body ravaged by illness. What must I look to him now?

 “You really haven’t aged at all… How painful that must be, how lonely. Are you still searching for your Doctor?” I can see by the look in his eyes that he is still waiting.

 Jack’s gaze lingers towards our wedding photograph as he picks it up.

 “Keep it.” I whisper “Have something to remember me by.”

 I swallow in an attempt to clear my throat but a sharp, tearing pain in my chest leaves me struggling for breath. I must have my say before another coughing fit returns. Jack clutches my hand, the anxiety on his face suddenly making him appear years older. This must be torturous for him to witness.

 “When I think of the life you have given me, those twenty years you gave me I am truly blessed…With all my heart I thank you Jack. But when I think of you my love… Oh Jack what will become of you?”

 There is no answer, Jack simply lowers his head and places his warm lips to my hands. I have become the wise parent and he is the child now. 

 “One day this war will be over. You need people in your life, you don’t want to lose your humanity. It’s time to step out of the shadows… You mustn’t be afraid to love or how else are you going to survive Jack Harkness? Forever, that’s a long time to be alone.”

 I begin coughing violently, a hot stabbing pain fills my chest, and it renders me breathless for a moment though after a few seconds it subsides. The cancer is winning the fight, after each attack less of myself returns. Jack attentively places the water to my lips and wipes my brow.

 “You were always the brave one Bella… I’m not a good person, I have done some terrible things over the years. To worry about me, me of all people when you are…” Jack couldn’t bring himself to say I was dying. “I wish I could have been here…” The tears are in Jack’s eyes, he can no longer hold them back as they stream down his beautiful face.

 “Hush now… I’m so tired Jack.”

 

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