a change of heart

draft 1

A burning flame of gold stood tall above the wise trees, allowing everything but joy to flow right through. Still, children kept running around, dragging their parents by their hand and screamed out of joy. It made a small smile tug at the corner of his lips and sometimes, he wished he knew why. He assumed that some things were truly meant to be left unexplained.

Tyler Joseph didn't know what he was doing anymore. Was he watching people enjoy their lives, or mocking them with that look on his face? He couldn't tell the difference these days, yet he prayed that someday he'd finally understand everything that was meant to be seen, not observed.

He sat on the edge, feet swinging back and forth as he hummed a song he never heard before. Tyler's brittle nails traced the cement in no particular pattern, only knowing that he probably should have stopped. It stung, but he kept scratching until the pain disappeared and was soon replaced with a gentle buzz inside his veins. He did this quite frequently - too often if you asked his therapist - but who cares? Everything's gradually decaying as the unstoppable marching of time guides us towards our inevitable fate.

One of the kids at the park fell onto the sidewalk, scraping up against the ground with a loud thump. A booming cry escaped the kid's lips before their parents came rushing over. And he felt numb, once again.

His little brother was still at school and his other younger brother was at the basketball game. If - when Tyler goes, who'll be there to pick them up? Who will buy them Taco Bell and order their favorite item off the menu?

Quickly, he scoffed at himself.

A coward, they said.

They described him as a coward.

He scooted closer to the edge, anger seeping through every layer of skin, a dark shade of red dripping across the skies as an army of whispers threw themselves at him.

And then he did it.