a change of heart

draft 3

I cannot fathom an environment without darkness; death was only the beginning of this twisted reality, and maybe that is why the cold, wet grains of sand sticking to my feet like honey, seemed to be the only thing that had made any sense to me.

There had been multiple times when the only two options left were to press play or press stop, and I, for one had way too many opportunities to count on both hands and feet. It was constant and continuous selfless acts, referred imprecisely as egotistical and selfish - everything I ought to not be. Yet, somehow, the world screams for an implicit demand for reasoning of the unrelated evidence to my story that they know nothing of.

I respectfully listen and never say a word.

"Whitney," A voice called from behind, wind swallowing the sounds escaping past their lips. "What are you doing out here?"

Why was I here?

"The evening yearns for appreciation and I just so happened to be outside for that calling."

Amber, the lady with a pair of sandals in her hand and  a soft, blue dress that covered her knees, sat down beside the occupied spot reserved for me. A smile hung over her lips as a giggled lifted up into the air.

"You sure are something, alright,"

I simply shrugged, stretching my arms toward the sky as the earth trembled. "The night is unhappy with your ruthless words."

"Ruthless? I thought I could trick them into thinking that my words were sincere."

The sky spat harshly across the globe, "I hate to break it to you but you did a terrible job,"

She sighed
"I suppose I did," her eyes twinkled under the illuminating rain. "Whitney, why are you here?"

My eyes fixated on the watch clasped around my wrist. It was his watch.
"You already know why I'm here, Amber."

Her long arms wrapped around her knees, placing her chin right where they connected. "It's not so healthy to continuously remind yourself of what happened on that tragic day,"

"But, how could I ever forget?"

"It's quite simple actually," She began, hugging her knees tightly. "Go out, find new friends and let go. Don't sit under the stars, staring at the watch he used to wear-"

"Amber, I loved him so much that it started to deeply hurt me. Yet I wanted to stay because he was the only light I had ever known," She let go of her knees, sitting up straight. It was as if she was attentively listening to what I had to say. "I cannot simply forget someone who brought me happiness when no one else could. I cannot forget about the tears I shed over him, or the sound of his angelic voice calling me. His letters -"

She reached over and placed her hand on the my shoulder farthest away from her. It was a small notion, but it brought me comfort as drops of salty tears fell onto her dress and my coat.

And I never knew that this was all I needed: a friend.