a change of heart

draft 5

Damien Carter knew exactly what he was doing, and how much damage it would cause. But none of that mattered anymore.

"Carter, please tell me why you aren't attending your wedding! You should be there by now with the love of your life, hand in hand as you guys have your happily ever after."

"Because, Hawkins, I-I..."

"What is it, Carter?"

There was a brief moment of silence.

Damien had his head tilted downward, playing with the hemline of his shirt. It wasn't his ideal way of how he wanted things to flow, but it was his only chance. He lifted his gaze to find himself staring at caramel swirls around a black orb and he realized that it was finally time to say what he needed to say.

"I'm in love with you."

She stayed still, jaw slightly slacked as the words she never expected to hear came jittering out.

"Damien..."

"No, please let me talk,"
She opened her mouth to speak but decided against it. Hesitantly, she waited for him the continue with his sentence. "My heart races whenever you're mentioned, almost similar to what happens before a heart attack but instead, I live through it to only find myself constantly thinking of you. It has always been you. Ever since we were the 'it' couple of Manhattan back in '09, no matter how hard I tried to bottle up my true feelings, my path always lead me back to you. See, there's this girl who I love so much that I am willing to miss my matrimony for..."

"She isn't worth your time, Carter."

"That's the thing, Crystal. This girl, s-she is worth my time. She's the kind of girl who'd come all the way from Chicago to make sure that her friend makes it to his wedding on time, she's the girl with beautiful curls and bright stars in her eyes, the girl with a strong love for literacy; and although everyone believes that love is a myth, this girl is the only one who has my heart to this day. I cannot begin to tell you how much you mean to me..." His voice trembled, but his eye contact with her never faltered. "So I'd have to disagree with you, Hawkins. Being with you is always the greatest and ultimately worth every second of my time."

Tears were building up in her eyes, and she tried to avoid blinking. "Damien, your wedding starts in twenty-three minutes..."

"I just can't help but feel this way. It's so easy to just fall for you - you are my everything. And it makes me feel so shitty since..."

Before he could utter his last sentence, her lips met with his. It was a surprise for both of them, but they couldn't ask for a better moment than this. Their kiss was slow, like she wanted it to mean something to the both of them, and not make it something he's had before. And unlike the ones Damien and Jasmine shared, their kiss wasn't hasty - it was honest and translucent, almost hitting the line of embarrassment yet it never did, because what they felt was nothing to be embarrassed of.

He pulled away, panting as he rested his forehead against her's. "Do you love me?"

She blinked. Did she love him?

Immediately, she backed up, using every fiber in her body to snap out of the trance she was in.

"T-This was an honest mistake. The love of your life is waiting for you, along with your friends! You cannot let them down. Not for me." Damien wanted to interrupt her next upcoming words, but she didn't allow him to do so. "You have everything, Carter. Don't fuck things up."

With that, she quickly turned and walked the other way so fast that Damien barely had time to let everything sink in.

Burning drops of salty tears ran down her pale cheeks, now full of bright colors as one thought came rumbling in her brain. Don't look back, she told herself. Be strong.

But she couldn't help herself. She glided her glance over to the corner of her eye, noticing that Damien was already down the hall.
And a part of her wished he turned back to look at her one last time.

He never did.