three hundred and sixty five ; yuzusho

day one hundred and fifty seven

this might be the last update for now... it depends what happens here.

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day one hundred and fifty seven

dear shoma,

i just blew a kiss upwards.

to the sky.  dark and endless.

to the stars.  bright and sparkling.

to the moon.  haunting and beautiful.

and to you.  the one i need.

i'm not in love with you again yet, but i still need you like i've never needed anyone in my life.

i don't know why i'm writing this, to be honest.

i mean, it's not like my entire attitude towards you will have changed just because it's the new year.

i have a photograph of you next to me.

but a photograph doesn't make up for having you here.

i just need you.

so, so much.

shoma.

i need you more than you'll ever be able to comprehend.

there's a bottle of some undetermined alcohol next to me.

...

i just took a swig.

it's strong.

i took another swig.

and another.

and another.

half the bottle gone.

dang, this is strong.

it's already going to my head.

but i like this feeling.

...

i decided to stay sober, just until i've finished this letter.

not another one of those illegible ones today.

so.

happy new year.

i still need you.

shoma,

i need you more than you'll ever be able to comprehend.

i'm sorry.

- yuzuru