three hundred and sixty five ; yuzusho

day two hundred and ten

it doesn't appear in this chapter, but as a reiteration, the illegible chapters with spaced out letters within words occur when yuzuru is under the influence of alcohol.

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day one hundred and ten

dear shoma,

it's all i've been doing over the past few days.

i know i shouldn't.

i know you'd hate me for it if you knew; because i still highly doubt that you actually get these letters.

i keep going out drinking.

a new place every night.

javi's worried.

"what have i done?" he contemplated aloud when he thought i wasn't in earshot, "i caused him to get addicted." 

i'm scared that he's going to think he's a bad influence on me and go back to spain.

it killed me the first time and it would do the same again, for sure.

shoma.  you're killing me here.

you not being here causes me to drown my sorrows in alcohol, which kills my kidneys.

i could very well die.

and to be honest, that would be a darn sight better than this shit.

i love you.

i'm sorry.

- yuzuru