Chapter 54 For Our Loved Ones

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                June 20th was the last day we were stepping on Neptune High as students. The next day was graduation, and I really wanted to do something about this everyone’s-leaving thing. Of course, it was mostly about Alex, but I told myself I wasn’t going to urge to see him or even think about him. I told myself that missing him was only brief. I assured myself I was going to miss him but only briefly. I was on to move on. Anyway, that was what he wanted, too. It’s not like I wanted to interfere with what he wants, so I told myself that that day was supposed to be for my friends only. I have enough friends though. As I drove my way to school, I wanted to tell myself that it was the start of something new, that I was moving past all of these painful feelings.

                There I was, in Neptune High. There were surely loads of people around the school hall. It was noisy cheerful, some were dramatic. It seemed as if there were no classes anymore. Well, everyone seemed to be finished with their finals, so…

                “Liyah!” I suddenly heard Laura shout of nowhere. She ran to me through that huge crowd of people. Of course, she was with Harvey.

                “Hey, Laura, Harvey.” I greeted them.

                “How are you doing, Liyah?” Harvey asked. I was pretty sure he was asking about that sudden collapse I did at that dinner.

                “I’m okay.” I nodded and smiled.

                “Hey, Harvey and I were just about to get our graduation gowns. You wanna get yours now?”

                “Okay!” I cheerfully nodded. I tried to seem happy. It was a little depressing, but I wanted to go with it.

                “Come. It’s in the receptionist.” Laura grabbed my hand and walked me.

                I came with them to the receptionist in time. Apparently, there was quite a long line, so we had to line up for like thirty minutes ‘til we got to the front of the line.

                “Name?” the receptionist asked Laura ‘cause she was leading the line.

                “Actually, could you get three for us?” Laura referred to me and Harvey.

                “Okay. Names please?” the receptionist started writing.

                “Laura Nicholls, Liyah Loveworth, and Harvey Tan…” Laura slowly enumerated.

                “Okay.” The receptionist finished writing and handed us this weird handbook. “Just write your name and sign there.”

                So, we did as we were told. We wrote our names and signed. Then, the receptionist handed us out our graduation gowns, wrapped in plastic.

                “Thank you.” Laura said as we went off the line and went outsider to the hall.

                Right outside, we saw Nick as he was approaching us. Laura and Harvey called to him since they didn’t really know what happened that night at the dinner.

                “Hey there, Nick.” Harvey greeted. Nick smiled, but he turned right to me.

                “Liyah, can I talk to you in private please?” He told me straight on. I looked at him right in the eye, and he looked totally sincere and serious.

                “Look, Nick. We’ve got nothing to talk about.” I said.

                “Please?” Nick begged. I stayed silent for a moment to think.

                “Fine.” I sighed as I handed my graduation gown to Laura. “I’ll see you later, Laura.”

                “Let’s go outside.” Nick started to walk out, and I followed him.

                “See ‘ya, Liyah!” Laura said.

                We got outside where there weren’t much people. There were very few, but pretty much no one could hear us. We both stopped walking there. Nick faced me as he seemed like he wanted to let all of his feelings out. It was quiet. It was windy. I could feel everything getting serious.

                “Look, I’m really sorry about the other day. I just couldn’t resist. I wanted to kiss you.” Nick said as his short hair danced with the wind.

                “It’s okay, Nick.” I crossed my arms since it was quite windy. I tried to sound as neutral as I could. “I get that feeling a lot, too.”

                “And I just wanted to say that I’m…” Nick couldn’t finish his sentence, like he didn’t want to say it. I waited, and he still seemed like he didn’t want to say it.

                “You’re what?” I asked.

                “I’m giving up. I’m leaving it all to Sander to make you happy. I don’t care how hard it is. I just want you to be happy.” He said. Suddenly, the wind blew a little stronger, and my hair brushed to my face. I was a little shocked. I didn’t think it was that easy to get Nick out of the way between me and Alex, but it was already a little too late. Alex already told me he wanted to be with Winnie, and there wasn’t really much I could do about that. I could just accept it even if it was bringing me to tears.

                “Thank you.” I started to feel the tears from my eye, but I stopped it. “Thank you for understanding me. You’re a really great person, Nick. I’m sure someone will appreciate that someday.”

                “I guess.” He nodded.

                Out of nowhere, I saw Alex and Winnie from behind Nick. They were walking together to school. My eyes widened as I saw them, holding hands. It felt like I was hit by lightning. I couldn’t move. It was a heart break each second that they were approaching us. Each step they took while holding hands was like a knife to my heart. I kept my eyes on Alex as he walked with Winnie on the way to school. Alex saw me as they were crossing our path. I kept my eyes on him, but he swung his eyes away, like he didn’t want to see me. I guess he tried to ignore me. As Alex and Winnie passed by us while holding hands, I started to feel the chill, the cold shimmers of heartbreaks. It hurt me so bad. I felt like I wanted to jump off the street and get hit by a car just so Alex would stop holding Winnie’s hand and run to me. I wanted him to call my name. I wanted him to hold my hand instead of hers.

                “Is that Sander?” Nick asked me when Alex and Winnie got a little farther away from us.

                Then, I couldn’t resist. My eyes started tearing up even when I wanted to stop it. I couldn’t help it. The tears started to go down my face. Of course, Nick got intrigued. I held my mouth with both hands and cried. I felt my knees bend a little lower. The wind blew even stronger as I cried even more. I cried too much that I felt the tears slid down to my arm. I started to shake and falter down to the ground.

                “Liyah, what’s going on?!” Nick was totally alarmed. He held my arms as he tried to hold me still, but I continued to cry. “Why are you crying? Was that really Sander who just walked by?”

                I couldn’t talk. I just felt like crying. I tried to wipe the tears away, but I just can’t stop crying. Before I realized it, Nick was gone. I turned around, and I saw him running back to the school. He was chasing for Alex. Then, I ran back to stop Nick. I knew that wasn’t a good sign. Alex and Winnie were already inside the school, so if Nick was to start a scene, it wasn’t going to be good.

                “Nick! Don’t!” I tried to chase Nick, but he was too far away. He didn’t stop. He barged into the school, and I knew deep inside me that I didn’t want to see what was coming. 

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