Til Death Do Us Part (1)

~ 13 ~

I nodded my head sheepishly. Well, it's out in the open now. I have to admit that finally telling Brian about my feelings for him was a massive weight off of my shoulders. Although, his reaction...well, that was just a new problem to deal with.

"Yes...I like you, more than a friend should do. Twenty years I've been hiding it from you, not wanting to lose you as a friend." My eyes were tearing up, as I spoke to him. I watched, as Brian stared at me open-mouthed. He didn't say a single word for at least ten minutes, and quite frankly, it was killing me inside. Should I not have told him? Damnit, Sal. You always fucking ruin everything.

After a while, I waved my hand in front of Brian, trying to recapture his attention. It wasn't until I clicked my fingers, that he eventually snapped out of his daze.

"You, er...you...like...me?" Brian repeated, his eyes now burrowing into mine. I sighed deeply, he clearly wasn't taking this well. Shit.

"Yes, Brian. I've just been over this." I breathed, clear annoyance in my tone. I ran the tips of my thumb and forefinger across my eyebrows, searching for the last ounce of vigilance I had, before I exploded.

I understand that this was a lot for Brian to take in, but really? Was pure shock really his only reaction? No jokes? No 'I feel the same way, Sal'? Bullshit. I should never have opened my damn mouth.

Brian gulped, fumbling with his hat, placing it atop of his head. That can only mean one thing; he was about to walk out on me.

Brian stood up from the sofa, slowly making his way over to his shoes. I scoffed loudly, so that he was aware that I was pissed. He turned around, his face full of sorrow. He looked dishevelled, as though he had given up completely. Brian reached for the door handle, before I interrupted him, shifting his focus onto me.

"Really, Brian?! You're just going to leave like that?! I've just opened up my fucking heart to you, and all you do is walk out on me? What happened to 'You won't lose me, Sal'?" I shouted, my voice cracking, as tears began to roll down my cheek. As I spoke, I stood from the sofa, pointing my forefinger towards the now weakened man.

Brian just looked down towards his feet, once again, not uttering a single word. After a few minutes of silence, he still hadn't said anything. I raised my eyebrow, waving my hands about, awaiting a response from him.

"Earth to Brian, are you going to explain yourself?" I grumbled, my tone of voice now agitated. Brian removed his hat, fumbling around with it in his hands, whilst biting softly at his bottom lip - a nervous trait he had grown accustomed to, which I adored so much.

"Okay, Sal. No need to get sassy with me. This is a lot to take in all at once." He sighed, his gaze finally reaching my face.

"No shit, Sherlock. Out with it." I snapped. What? Sassy Sal isn't something I can always control.

"Why me? I'm nothing special. Just a handsome baked potato." Brian ran his hand through his hair, just watching it fall over his face was a beautiful sight.

"Why you? Brian...you're everything to me. All your imperfections are perfect to me. I can't explain to you how much you mean to me." I held his hand, pulling him slightly closer to my presence. Brian flinched at my touch slightly, not used to us being so touchy - well, whilst sober anyway. "I'm not going to lie to you, Bri. The other night, I-I thought you finally felt the same..."

Brian chuckled nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. My eyebrows crossed slightly, puzzled by his peculiar reaction.

"Why would you think that?" He questioned. I stepped back a little. Oh, God. This isn't going to end well is it...not again!

"Um, because it was your idea to play spin the bottle, perhaps? Or the fact that you made your move on me, not the other way around?" I shouted, throwing my arms about in anger. Brian furrowed his eyebrows. I'd clearly pissed him off, yet again. Well done, Sal!

"How many times, Sal?! I was drunk! I told you, I get like that when I've had too much!" He yelled back, huffing and puffing loudly.

I thought back to that night, the sudden realisation becoming clear in my mind. That night - the night we played spin the bottle - Brian had had one drink, and that was it. There was no way he could have gotten drunk after just one can. My mouth fell to the floor, as I stared in shock at Brian. I pointed at him, stumbling over my words, as I tried to speak.

"Yo-You didn't even drink much that night! You were completely sober! You knew everything you were doing! Brian...what the fuck is going on?!" I screamed at him. Brian winced, as my voice echoed around the room. He swiftly grabbed his belongings, and stormed out of my house.

"Fuck you, Sal! I was drunk!" He yelled out, as he slammed my front door with a bang. I watched through the window, as he clambered into his car, plonking his head against the steering wheel. I could see his shoulders shuddering, he was clearly crying, and who was to blame? Me, again.

At least no one got hurt this time - physically that is, emotionally on the other hand...well, that's a completely different story. What do I do now?