Chapter One

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"If I should wake before I die Then promise me you'll never get this sick inside"

- Ariel Bloomer

I'm sick inside, no body knows except my parents but they don't even care. They are slowly letting this sickness corrupt my brain and suffer till’ I plead insanity. They don’t care or understand that this is a slow painful process, losing sanity and grip of life my light is fading and darkness is corrupting my brain. It doesn’t help that my parents beat me, it makes my thoughts race face while my body refuses to act or move, I don’t talk about it even when the teachers asked me about the bruises on my arms. They stopped asking after a few weeks and started to wear long sleeve clothing to cover all the bruises on my pale arms. Then all times my “father” and “mother” would come home from work pissed or drunk, when I was nine they started to leave more than bruises, they would take a knife and cut my arms, always the age I was they didn’t do it often just every month or so long enough for my cuts to fade they would make more. I didn’t notice it at first but the fifth time they cut my arms I realized they were getting deeper so it took longer to heal. My so called friends didn’t even care enough to ask, even though I wouldn’t of told them. This continued until I was thirteen, when a part of my mind finally snapped my father was still at work but my mother had gotten off early she was pissed. Later on I found out she had gotten fired for verbal abuse towards co-workers.

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It was 6:37 when she got I remember it like it was just hours ago.

My mother came in pissed, as so as I heard that door open abruptly and slam within’ moments. I heard a lot of things breaking, at first I think it was the window, then a lamp. I heard her taking to herself mumbling something about “That damned bitch thinks she can get away with firing me I‘ll show her.” Then moments later she’d say something like “I know it, I just know it! It‘s her fault, always Kyle’s fault. She ruined ours lives!” At that point I was over a hundred percent sure that she was pissed at my for something I had nothing to do with, this time getting fired for her own anger issues. I was never sure but I do think my illness comes from her, her stupid anger, she’s such a pitiful. It was her and my hateful father’s fault I became like this, their genes mixed and I ended up getting Bipolar II disorder. Hypomania and major depression, my hypomania state puts me at being extremely energetic, talkative, and assertive. People piss me off, depending on my mood of the day it can be easy or very difficult to do talk a lot, like the people at school, or when I’m alone I talk to the voice in my head. (Don‘t call me crazy just yet this is my story and my memories.)

Now back to my mom, I heard her rummaging through all the drawers, looking for something most likely a knife or something like that, to take her anger out at me, I haven’t been in a good mood today I hope she is careful enough or she might go agro and explode, just like the creepers in minecraft. I heard her footsteps coming towards my room I got up from my bed to prepare for what was happening, within’ moments my door whipped open breaking off part of the hinges. (Great something else for her to get pissed about.) She walked over to me grabbed my wrist and cut my antebrachial. It wasn’t super deep but the way it was cut I was starting to pour blood. I wouldn’t need stitches but if the bleeding continues for long I will pass out or need a blood transfusion. My mother looked shocked as to what she just did, the look on her face she regretted it immediately. I was shocked as well but not to the cut, her emotions for once she felt bad for me. Then it must of sunk in all the cruel things they did to me. She shocked face went blank, then became saddened and I think depressed. It was a few minutes of awkward silence, she dropped the knife and the floor when we heard a beating on the door, both of us walked down the stairs together her first then me. She told me to stay in the kitchen when she went to the door, I listened but I didn’t know why. It had been five minutes, almost ten and my arm wouldn’t stop bleeding I felt sickened and dizzy when my mother called me in. I saw her face first regret, sadness, and something else I could tell then I saw them. Two police officers, a neighbor must of called and complained about noise…. and mother must have told them what she did, because she was handcuffed. I refused to show emotion, I must have looked pale because the female officer asked if I was okay or not, I nodded. The what happened next shocked me but I still refused to show emotion.

Amy (my mom): “Her arm…” then next part she mumbled but all three of us heard her clear enough, “I cut her…. I called her a monster blamed her for everything I had done wrong… even though I am the monster myself who is to blame.”

I showed emotion for once I was shocked had Amy finally have a wake-up call to reality, anyway I knew what was going to happen next.

Officer 1 male (Daryl): "Miss lower your head, you are under arrest, anything or say or do can or will be used against you in the court of law." The man he looked pissed, like someone import or himself was abused, they possibly my have died or came close to it.

Officer 2 female (Katrina): "Sweetie are okay you don't look to well." She was very right I wasn't feeling well, I think I had lost a little over a pint of blood in the course of 12 minutes everything was fuzzy and getting dark, I gave in and let darkness consume me last thing I heard before I passed out was..

Amy: "Please I’m begging you save my daughter! Please don't let her die because I was stupid. Please!"

Daryl: "Lady calm down we will call an ambulance, I have to escort you to the police car now, do cooperate."

Katrina: Grabs Walky-Talky "Units we need an ambulance hear at _______ pronto. A young teenage girl has collapsed due to blood loss."

After that I don't remember what happened, I'm not even sure if I remember that part correct or not.

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