Hourglass

Late

Sunshine streams into my window waking me. I scrunch my eyes up and try to turn over and ignore the fact that the day has started without me and from the heat of the sun it must be nearly noon. I really should have closed my blinds last night.

I push my face into my pillow, pulling the covers slightly over my face to block out the light and try to pretend that it isn't morning. "You really shouldn't hide that gorgeous face first thing in the morning" I hear from the side of me before a kiss is placed on my cheek. Shit! I did it again.

"Anders... we spoke about this" I say refusing to lift my head my voice muffled by the pillow. Due to my lack of headache waking up I've obviously forgot about going out last night and calling Anders to come over on the way home.

"And yet here I am" he tells me huskily slipping his hand around my waist pulling me closer to him.

"You really need to tell me to fuck off when I call you" I say looking up at his beautiful face. Anders is 6ft4 and sculptures by the gods themselves. He's Greek and passionate with beautiful hazelnut eyes, curly brown hair and stylish stubble. Woman basically throw themselves at him but he stays single and yet he always gives in to me. It's been like this for nine months now and I know I shouldn't call him but god is he good in bed, not to mention hilarious, kind and caring. I have a feeling that he wants more from this arrangement but I can't give him what he wants. This needs to be the last time.

"I would never do that" Anders tells me laughing stoking my hair back from my face. "Then I wouldn't get the pleasure of your company." He tells me kissing my cheek causing me to close my eyes so as not to be loured in by his charming good looks. Resist Tori!

"Anders. I can't keep doing this to you. You deserve better than this" I tell him sitting up holding my light blue sheet around me rubbing my eyes. Anders sits up beside me staring at me intently with a small smile on his face.

"What if I don't want anyone else" he asks and I feel my heart begin to beat faster. I knew it! I should have ended it after the first time when I found myself attracted to him and wanting to spend time with him.

I just shake my head at him and get out of bed walking with my sheet to my ensuite keeping most of my modesty although my butt is out. "Come on Tori. You know we are good together why don't you just give me a chance" Anders asks following me into the the bathroom standing beside me in all his tanned naked glory watching me brush my teeth. I'd like to say I didn't look at him through the mirror but that would be a huge lie. He watches me take him all in and smirks at me making me smile. I spit and rinse my brush before walking to the shower to turn it on. I turn to look at Anders and he pulls me to him and I try to stop memories of us together.

"Come on Tori. Give me something here." He says running his hands up and down my arms making goosebumps rise and causing my head to swim.

"Anders you know I can't give you what you want" I tell him in an exhausted voice leaning my head on his chest. I only come up to his collarbone but I have to admit it's nice to be in his arms.

"Why not. We have fun together don't we?" He asks and I nod "we get along and make each other laugh don't we?" And I nod again. "And by god the physical and sexual chemistry we have is unreal right?" He asks making me chuckle and nod yet again. "So what's the problem?" He asks pulling back from me holding me out at arms length. He places a finger under my chin to make me look at him.

What is the problem Tori eh? I shake my thoughts away knowing I can't give in. I can't let someone have that power to hurt me again. I like Anders but I don't love him do I? and yeah there's chemistry but I'm not willing to give my heart away again. "I'm sorry Anders" I say cupping his cheek. "It's not that I don't like you because I do but I just can't do commitment" I say with a sigh and hold back the tears as I see the hurt on his face but I need to set the boundaries now and not cross them. "I don't want to hurt you or lead you on and as much as I would love your friendship I understand if you don't want that but I can't give you the relationship you are looking for" I say taking a step back so that his arms fall from mine. He shakes his head but I see a small smile on his face. That's something I've come to realise about Anders he always smiles or sees positives in every situation.