A breakdown in the differences between the male and female mind.
Situation: Boyfriend and girlfriend are in bed, spooning, lights off.
Girl starts to itch one of her feet with the other.
Boy's feet touch off hers.
Girl: (Coyly) Haha, are you trying to start something?
Boy: Nah babe, sorry, I'm tired.
What's going on in his head:
Jesus, I'm wrecked. Zzzzzzz.
What's going on in her head:
Ha.
Wait though.
Why doesn't he want to start anything?
Oh god, he does think I've put on weight, I've gotten uglier, he's not attracted to me anymore, was he even attracted to me in the first place? Oh god this is all some sort of horrible prank, why would a guy as hot as him be interested in me in the first place? Why are you breathing out you stupid fat bitch, suck it in, don't cry you idiot, just go to sleep, try to figure out what to do in the morning. I'm going to have to break up with him just to retain some sort of dignity, but oh god I love him so much, I don't know if I can live without him. Obviously I can't have sex with him ever again because if this is all a trick - which it obviously is, I can't believe I was stupid enough to think that a boy like him would ever be interested in a girl like me - then he's just using me and I can't, I can't, I can't have sex with someone who's using me, oh god I feel dirty. DON'T CRY, you'll wake him. Nobody will ever love you for who you are, you must be hideous. That's it, first thing in the morning you are starting a diet and joining a gym.
The End.
Lol. The neuroses, we haz it.
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Honest To Blog: My Misadventures
General FictionNot a story, just me ranting and raving really. Not expecting you all to read this or anything, though I can guarantee humour and alarming self-righteousness.
