The Assassin's Weakness

Nightmares

We didn't go swimming again. The weather decided against it. It was September, and snowing. I hated snow. Yet I loved looking at the way it glittered when the sun hit it just right in the morning.
So I stood looking out the window with my coffee in hand, staring at the icy trees in our backyard.
"It's a good thing we stocked up before the snow hit. This is the weirdest weather I've ever seen." I told James.
I turned to look at him. He had dark circles under his eyes and he was sitting in his sweat pants and a grey t shirt.
I see him nod once and sip his coffee, I can tell he hasn't been getting much sleep.
"Are you sure there isn't anything wrong?" I asked him for about the third time today.
"As I told you before, I'm not used to sleeping every night like you. I need to stay awake or my brain shuts off."
The first time he explained it in a much more complex way. I had looked at him like I was mentally incompetent, so he put it in what he called small words.
I walked over to the couch and sit next to him, watching his expression. It shifted from sleepy to cautious.
"Then why did I find you asleep outside my door this morning?" I asked him.
"I just had an uncomfortable feeling." He looked straight ahead.
"So you naturally had to sleep outside my room. With a gun. A big gun." I could see emotion in his face now. He was starting to let his guard down around me. I didn't know yet if that was good or not.
"Yes." Was all he replied.
On an impulse I reached my hand out and ran my fingers through a few strands of his now shaggy hair.
His reaction was mixed, at first it was shock and the his eyes closed almost involuntary.
"Please don't." He sighed.
"Why?" I asked as I withdrew my hand.
"Because, it doesn't help." He said.
He turned and looked at me, his eyes were like an ocean in a chaotic storm. I could tell he was fighting something, but I couldn't tell what.
"I'm sorry, I won't do it again." I promised him, slightly hurt. His eyes didn't say that,that was what he wanted to hear.
Yes he was letting me close, and it was destroying him.
I didn't know what to say or do so I went and emptied my cup in the sink, then went to my room to think.
Unfortunately, my brain had other plans. As soon as my head hit the pillow I was asleep and dreaming again. The same nightmare. Only this time it was worse. Much worse.