Marionette (A 'The 5th Wave' Fanfiction) [COMPLETED] #wattys2017

27. Glass Heart; Chapter IV.

    Ben asks where I was. I'm grateful Reznik told us to 'Shut the fuck up and pay attention' so that I don't have to explain.

    I'm not trying to avoid it but a little waiting shouldn't be at any harm. I do my best to concentrate on the lectures yet Ben's lingering looks and faint touches to their best to distract me. I wish I could tell him to back off; he's not helping.

    I let it be. I won't see him afterwards anyway.

    After my tenth mine 'explodes' I feel hopeless. All words bounce off me like I'm covered by a shield. Can't we do something that involves guns? I don't have to think much then, as it's very natural to me.

    Our current task is for one recruit to stand on the decoy mine and for the other to disassemble it. With Ben I didn't 'die' once. Ironically, I killed Ben over and over. What are friends for, am I right?

    Lame.

    Ben 'blows up' again and he steps of the decoy and kneels next to me. "What the hell is wrong with you?" he asks and behind the anger and irritation in his voice is confusion.

    I look away from him and pretend to do something to the mine. All I'm actually doing is pressing random wires.

    Ben catches my wrist in his hand and practically yanks me so we make eye contact. "Rose," he hisses slightly. "What's going on? Tell me!"

    I glare at him and the drill instructor unnonces we're done for today.

    I jump to my feet and proceed to the barracks to ready for lunch. I'm nearly running by the time Ben catches up to me in the barracks. We're the first there.

    He slams the door in frustration. "Rose! What the-"

    "Stop calling me that!" I snap. I feel like kicking into something. Why is he always so difficult? "What's so complicated on Marionette you dumb American?!"

    Ben huffs sarcastically and points so himself. "I'm dumb? I'm dumb?! Rose," -as if he's doing it on purpose- "how about you actually try talking with me for once instead of keeping this mysterious-secretive fascade! I've spent all my time trying to earn your trust, trying to show you I'm your friend, trying to help you! What more am I supposed to do, Rose?! Tell me!"

    My eyes sting and legs shake but I still stand straight opposite Ben. "How about not being a douche and respecting my privacy and decision for once?! Oh, and where were you during breakfast?" He rolls his eyes and crosses his arms over his chest, as if to tell me to not bring this crap up now. "This is exactly what I'm talking about! I'm not a little kid, Ben. I don't need your lectures. I can't trust you if you always reconsider my opinions. It's always so one-sided, Ben!"

    He looks taken aback for a split second. "One sided? You're complaining about it being one-sided? I gave you everything, Rose. My backstory, my trust, my heart, my soul! Everything! Still you do this! Behaving like a little fucking kid! Despite what I did -do- for you! And you can't even show emotion around me!" His voice cracks and my heart shatters. "I love you, Rose." Like a plead. "You're what's left of me. What's left of Ben Parish. But you don't give a fucking damn, do you?! You're so full of what was. What you lost. What you'll never have. You're blind! You don't see me! You don't care! All there is is Rose. Poor Rose! Hurt Rose! Stupid Rose can't do anything right! Well guess what? Every fricking kid in this fucking camp has gone through what you have, if not worse! So how about you suck it up, angel?!" He's screaming so loud probably the whole camp can hear.

    I give up and take a bag that's beneath my bed and shove my clothes into it. Ben doesn't move. He looks mesmerized. I grit my teeth together as I sneer, "You fucking asshole."

    And I run. I still remember where the barracks of Squad 22 are. I know Ben is behind me, trying to keep up with me. I was always faster than him. For a moment I worry. Will my bag slow me down?

    "Rose!" he's yelling after me. "Rose! Rose! Rose!"

    My heart is shattering into a million microscopical pieces and even those crack like glass. Soon enough I'm soaked to the bone. I haven't noticed the heavy rain.

    "Rose! Rose! Rose!" his voice is fading. He can't keep up. Besides the distance between us I swear I can still hear his whisper, "Come back."