31. Killer; Chapter I.

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"You look like train wreck in jumpsuit," Mononoke notes, staring at me from above. For a Japanese she's pretty tall. Outgrows everyone in Squad 22.

I wipe sweat off of my forehead with the back of my hand. Like I said, sleep deprivation does things to you. Or, in other words, makes you a train wreck.

I can't function properly. My nightmares are coming back. So when I occasionally do fall asleep it doesn't last very long. It's painful.

Reznik is moody again and in result we earn a run-down of the whole obstacle course and after every completed circle a hundred push-ups. He's a saint.

We're on our fourth go and I already feel like I've been doing this for years without stop. Thank god for Mononoke, who is always here to point out the hurtfully obvious.

Regardless, I absolutely deny to stop. On the field no one will care if we're not feeling right-or suffering with partial insomnia.

As noble as I sound, I suck. No, seriously. I'm terrible at this. Falling every chance I get. If a medal existed for this level of stupidity I would definitely be a worthy candidate (if not the best).

It's finally over. I sigh deeply in relief. We salute Reznik and prepare to march off. Better said to storm into the cafeteria.

Someone grabs me by my arm and spins me at himself. I know that grip.

"Where do you think you're going?" Reznik snaps.

I take a step back. "Sir, to the cafeteria, sir."

He shakes his head in disbelief. "Not with that performance you pulled off. And to think you were supposed to graduate," he huffs. Ouch. "Get your ass over there and clean that up. Don't you dare show yourself to my face before everything is spotless!"

I salute Reznik and hurry to the firing range to collect all the supplies and put them away. I work swiftly, but not efficiently. My mind is still whirring to places I wish it wouldn't. Sleep would definitely benefit me in this.

After all the rifles are put away I wind the barbed wire back into the roll it should be in. I cut my fingers and its sharp edges and blood is already trickling down them. The sight is sickening but not unsettling.

I correct parts of the obstacle course and hope Reznik won't kill me too hard. I already feel like dying and all this work isn't helping.

I haul a plank from the ground and prepare to take it to a stand that's meant for it. Hoping it won't crush me before I do so. Then, "Rose," a voice says behind me and it takes all what's left of my willpower to not drop the plank and not turn around.

I inhale and continue my journey to the stand. I can hear Ben advancing after me.

The plank slips and nearly crushes my foot as I struggle to put it away. Ben nimbly grabs the other end and helps me. He looks at me, probably expecting some form of gratitude. Instead I go, "What are you doing here?" in a rather small voice.

It's getting darker by the minute and I'm pretty sure we won't be managing dinner. Is Ben aware of this?

He seems unfazed. "I was looking for you."

A week before graduation? Good job. I don't say that aloud, though. "Oh," is my alternative reply.

Ben touches my hand and I flinch. The cuts are really starting to burn.

He frowns and wraps my hands in his jacket, as if to protect them. They still hurt as hell, though.

I stare at him in wonder, examining his angles and trying to remember them all. In further examination he is different from the last time we encountered each other. His jaw has a harder set to it, his lips are even more tightly pressed together to make a thin line and the circles and bags around his eyes are darker and more prominent.

Despite his ripped edges he still is Ben and still absolutely the most beautiful creature I ever saw in my entire life.

Ben looks into my eyes and his lips form a pleading question, very un-Ben-ish, "Why did you leave me?"

I don't hesitate. "I was reassigned to my old squad. I had no choice." Which is true.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you were yelling at me," I say, going into defence mode.

"I had my reasons."

Despite everything I roll my eyes. "Which were?"

"I was frustrated, Rose. You're not as good an actress as you might believe. Not to me. Do you know what it's like always waiting for you to talk to me? When I clearly see there is something to talk about?" He lets go of my hands and runs his own through his hair, resembling the frustration he's explaining.

I take them back and shove them in my pockets. "I'm not having this conversation again," I state and march off.

Well, tried is a better way to put it.

"Rose!" Ben calls after me and I am painfully reminded of how he was yelling for me to come back after our argument.

I don't stop this time either. I can't have this again!

Ben catches me be my wrist and refuses to let go. "Ben, you son of a--"

My eyes go wide and my heartbeat quickens. It's painfully obvious what's happening, but it takes a moment for the information to get through my head. Ben is kissing me.

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