Choices

Chapter 7

It’d been three weeks since Erin had been shot. She was finally released from the hospital once they were positive she and the baby were stable. Jay would be over any time he wasn’t working, and each time she saw him, she was reminded of why she’d fallen in love with him and continued to fall in love. Her doctor's appointment was the next week, and she’d planned on asking him over dinner to go with her. She'd promised he could be there when she found out the gender, and she didn’t want to break any promises to him.

Her arm had healed nicely, and she had full range of motion again. A little physical therapy and she’d been good as new. Hank was letting her back to work, albeit desk duty, on Monday and she was glad. She decided to cook for Jay tonight. He’d been doing so much for her, and she wanted to return the favor since she was feeling so well. She fixed his favorite, spaghetti and garlic bread, and by the time he arrived, her apartment smelled heavenly.

He wondered what she was up to when he used his key to let himself in and smelt the wonderful smells. They hadn’t made any plans that morning and he was a little worried he’d forgotten something important. He could hear soft music playing as he kicked his shoes off. “Erin?” he called racking his brain and drawing a blank.

“Kitchen,” she called back with a smile even though he couldn't see it yet.

Jay walked in and saw her in a black dress that showed off her growing bump and she was smiling. He propped up in the doorway watching her. “How was work?” she asked giving him a dimpled smile.

“Just another day… missed my partner,” he winked.

“Yea I miss being there,” she said holding up the spoon for him to taste the sauce.

“Mmmm good,” he said licking his lips. “You’ll be back soon,” he said with a smile.

Erin nodded as she plated their food. Jay reached for them giving her a smile. “Erin? Did I…. Did I forget something?” he asked setting their plates on the table as he kept drawing a blank on if this was something special he'd forgotten about.

“No,” she said shaking her head with a smile. “I was feeling good. Wanted to cook for you to return the favor for everything you’ve done for me,” she said with a small shrug as if it was no big deal.

“Well thank you,” he smiled kissing her forehead before they sat down to eat. He told her about the boring day of paperwork and how it’s lonely without her. They talked about her day of boring daytime tv too while they ate.

Jay insisted on cleaning up since she’d gone through all the trouble of cooking and told her to go put her feet up and relax. He was almost done when he heard her sharp gasp from the living room.

“Erin?” he called worriedly as he turned off the water and raced in there.

She was laid back on the couch with her hands on her stomach and a look of astonishment on her face. “I think…. I think I felt a kick,” she said excitedly grabbing his hands and placing them on her stomach too. She usually didn’t go for others touching her, but this was Jay and she didn’t mind a bit.

“Hey little one are you letting mommy know you’re there,” he cooed making Erin grin big. Jay talking to her baby was everything. In just a minute they felt it and she smiled really big watching his face light up. “That…. You felt it too?!”

Jay nodded with a big smile and kissed her belly before he could stop himself. He slowly pulled back realizing what he’d done, but was only met with Erin’s smiling face. “Yea… Yea I felt her,” he smiled.

“Or him,” Erin insisted in what had become their friendly argument of back and forth on the gender.

“She's gonna be a soccer player,” he smiled.

“He’s gonna play hockey,” Erin insisted.

“You're gonna be a great mom either way,” he said softly kissing her cheek. He knew she’d said she wasn’t ready, but sometimes he couldn’t help himself. She was so beautiful and radiant and he kept falling more in love with her and her baby.

“Thank you Jay,” she whispered leaning in and softly kissing his lips.
Jay was shocked but quickly kissed her back. Erin smiled against his lips before she slowly pulled back. “I uh…. I wanted to see if uh…. Well my appointment is next week and I’m supposed to be able to find out if it is a boy for sure,” she grinned big. “And anyways… I know I'd said you could come but if you’ve changed you’re mind or….”

Jay cut her off with a soft kiss. “I’ll be there Erin. I promise,” he smiled.

“Ok good,” she smiled big. Later that night she’d fallen asleep with her head in his lap watching hockey. Once it was time for him to go, he picked her up and carried her to bed. He put her in pjs and then tucked her in. She whimpered holding on to him and he softly kissed her forehead. “Sweet dreams angel,” he whispered before quietly sneaking out.

/

On Monday when she returned the guys all welcomed her back. Hank made sure she remembered she was on desk duty and she just gave him an eye roll and a nod.

Jay took her out for lunch and she insisted on subs saying the baby was craving them. Jay just chuckled and took her anywhere she wanted to get whatever she wanted.

When they got back, she told Hank about her doctors appointment the next day and that she’d ask Jay to go with her. He did some grumbling about being short two detectives but told her to go whenever they needed too.

The next day at lunch they left early going to the doctor first. Erin checked in and they sat there quietly. Her leg bounced as she watched others in the waiting room. Appointments made her nervous because she was always afraid they were gonna tell her something was wrong with her baby and it’d be her fault for her sabbatical as everyone had taken to calling it.
She felt Jay's hand reach for hers. She gave him a small smile and he gave her hand a squeeze. “Its gonna be ok Erin I promise,” he whispered.

She could only nod at him and pray he was right. They called her back and Jay helped her change and get situated on the table. She wouldn’t let go of his hand and he smiled.

“Hey. It’s ok. No matter what I’m here and your baby will be loved, I promise,” he said softly reading her mind and nerves.

“Thank you,” she whispered as her doctor walked in. They did the routine exam and the doctor found nothing wrong. She was growing and progressing nicely and Erin felt relieved.

Once that was out of the way, they performed the ultrasound. She couldn’t stop the tears at the sound of her baby’s heart beat. They saw him or her on the screen appearing to wave at them as the doctor moved the wand around.

Everything looked good and the baby looked healthy. “Would you like to know the gender today?” the doctor asked after performing the necessary measurements.

Erin looked at Jay and saw the shine in his eyes. He gave her a small nod and she smiled at him. She looked back at the doctor, “Yes we would,” she said.

The doctor moved the wand around some more changing the angles of the view of her baby. “Well congratulations you’re having a girl,” she smiled.

She could feel Jay's smile without even having to look at him. “A girl,” she whispered. The doctor printed three sets of the ultrasound pictures at her request and told Erin to schedule her next appointment.

Once she went out Jay helped her clean up and redress. “A girl,” he smiled letting his hands softly run her bump.

“Erin? You ok?” he asked watching her face.

She softly nodded and wiped her eyes. “What is it? What’s wrong?” he asked giving her a hug.

“She's gonna end up like me. Fatherless with me as a mother… and… and… I'd been so sure…. A boy… I can… I can take care of him… I …. I… did it with Teddy…. And this…. I just….”

Jay wrapped his arms around her and gave her soft kiss silencing her breakdown. He tipped her chin up and wiped her eyes. “She's not totally fatherless. She has a whole unit of guys that will protect her and be there for her when she grows up. History is not going to repeat itself Erin. You're not Bunny. You're better than that and this little girl will be so loved and cared for. I know it because I know you. You’re gonna be an amazing mother.”

She looked up at him through her glassy eyes. “Thank you Jay. I just… you are…”

“Shhh… I get it,” he smiled kissing her forehead. “Lets get you two fed and go tell the guys.”

She might think her little girl would be fatherless but he was gonna make sure that never happened. This was gonna be the most loved baby girl in the world and he just knew it.
He made sure she ate good and they headed back to the district. She went to tell Hank and give him a set of pictures and then she told the rest of the guys. They were all excited and happy for her, but she could truly appreciate Jay's happiness. She knew no matter what he'd keep his promise and be there for her and for that she’d always be grateful.