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Donald regrets last night.

He was horny, and the sex was okay, but he cheated on his wife with a man.

A MAN.

Donald isn't homophobic, no, he's actually the least homophobic person ever (well, that's what he says).

Donald needed to stop thinking.

To stop feeling.

So, he did what every other tumblr teenager did when they were over thinking or depressed.

He watched PewDiePie.

"Hahaha! Like a bOSS!" He shouted at the end of the video.

"No, Donald, that's what Jacksepticeye says."

Donald turned around, only to see the man of his dreams.

"Tr-Tronald? What are you doing in here?"

Tronald put his hand on Donald's shoulder in a sexual manner.

"Well, I was thinking about last night, and I want to do it again..but this time, I want it to be rough." Tronald bit his lip seductively, and Donald knew he couldn't resist the boy.

He was already in too deep.

Donald began to lean in and his lips just barely touched Tronald's before Melania burst through the door.

"Donald! What are you doing?"

He moved away from Tronald quickly, not seeing the heartbroken look in his eyes.

"Um..nothing?"

"It didn't look like nothing."

Donald gulped and tried to think on something he could say.

"A snake...um..bit his face..and I was trying to suck out the..um... Poison."

"You mean venom?"

"MelanIA IM THE GODDAMN PRESIDENT IF I WANT TO SAY POISON THEN I WILL SAY POISON GET OFF MY CASE IM NOT GAY JEEZ"

Melania shook her head, clearly disappointed.

"Donald, you promised you would never lie to me."

"But I'm not lying."

"I was watching you the entire time."

Donald froze.

"B-but how?"

"I had set up security cameras, Donald. I'd noticed your strange behavior lately, and I wanted to know what was going on. But, now I know. I hope you and Tronald are happy together."

And that's when Donald started crying.













Me: *wants to be taken seriously as an author*

Also me: *write this*

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