He Never Smiles

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He never smiled

I never understood why he cried. I would see him everywhere I went, he would cry over everything I did, he would always be sad.. like he just lost some one he loved. His hysterical sobs would fill my senses and I could never block him out. His woeful eyes, dull and glazed over would stare in my direction, but never directly at me as he heaved for breaths between his trembling tears.. he.. it... never smiles.

The first day I saw him, my mother had just past away. I was 17 years old. I had lost my mother to a fire at my high school, which claimed 9 lives including that of my mom. It was a cold day in November, the kids were eager to leave for winter break and there was a nervous buzz in the air because we were all tasked with taking our semester finals.

My mom worked as the English teacher in the lowest level of the school. We all liked to call it the dungeon because the class room was really in the basement where all the waterlines and gas lines line were exposed against the concrete walls, but our teachers and school staff insisted we call it the lower level, due to the terms that "the dungeon" caused a lot pencil and sharpie grafitti being left on the staircase down. "Going to the dungeon" "Beware the monster that lurks here... EDucATIoN!!" and my favorite that always made me chuckle; written in big bold letters "SOLITARY CONFINEMENT".

I was in my science class that morning, working in a small team, dissecting baby pigs and identifying their key organs; this was our semester final for the class. I was working with 2 other class mates who thankfully weren't squeamish. We all thought it was actually kind of cool once we got past the overwhelming smell of formaldehyde.

We were removing the heart of the piglet when the school shook, immediately followed by a deafening explosive noise and and a shower of water. Our teacher, Mr. Smik, rushed us out of the class room and tried to get us down the hall to the left, past the dungeon. I rounded the corner of the science rooms door and my heart sank. I was greeted by 'the dungeons' door blown off its hinges, it laid against the opposing wall. The space between the door and door frame was filled with an inferno, raging from my moms class room.

I don't know what I thinking when I ran into the fire.. I don't know if I thought I could save her or if I was just running in there to see what happened.. I don't know.. but I descended the staircase through the flames.

Immediately past the door, the fire was no longer burning.. it was actually almost cold once I reached the bottom step. I heard someone crying in the room.. though it was pitch black aside from a small window that lit the desk where my mom would sit while she taught class.

I searched for this crying person in the dark for a short time, gagging on the smell of burning flesh and hair before I recalled my cell phone had a flash light app. I opened the app and immediately wished I hadn't. Burnt bodies and their unattached limbs littered the floors, some were smoldering like paper, a thin line of bright red crawling up the blacked skin and turning it into ash.

I heaved at the site, that mouth watering feeling crept into my head as it does when you're about to throw up.. but I held it in. I averted my attention to the crying, which seamed to be coming for the over turned desk in the corner of the room.

That has to be my mom.. she's still alive!

I ran to the desk, almost tripping over the chest of one of the victims of the fire. I heard someone yelling at the tops of the stairs for me to come out because they had detected a gas leak.. I wish I had listened.

I almost reached the desk when I looked down at another body.. this one was slightly larger than the rest. It didn't take long for me to see this was my mom.. missing the right side of her face.. her eyes a milky white and her jaw opened wide.. she.. she had no arm.. or leg.. Dead.. my mother was dead at my feet..

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