Thirteen Reasons Why

Tape 3:Side A

I was finally released from the hospital. Once I got home I found out that Dom had sex in my bed. I couldn't handle Dom being a dick. I drove to Scotty's house so I could contain myself. I knew that the second Dom brought up Liza I would be swinging at him. Today has been a month since Liza passed away. I'm getting better, slowly. I'm finishing the tapes, slowly. I keep anticipating my tape every second of the day. Liza's parents visited us today. They were very kind and happy. Why would they be happy their daughter is gone? They definitely wouldn't be happy if they knew I was a reason why. When I got to Scotty's, no one was home. I sat in my car. I listened to tape 5. I was scared. I was lonely. I wasn't happy. I was depressed. I started to walk to the front door and I pressed the devilish play button and began to listen.
"Today is the day I've been dreading for the past few weeks. Today's tape is David. My boyfriend. David? Pookie? Your name does not belong on this list. But you need to be here if I'm going to tell my story. If I'm going to explain why I did what I did. Because you aren't every other guy - you're different. You're good. And kind. And decent. And I didn't deserve to be with someone like you. I never did. I've ruined you. It was me and everything that's happened to me."
When I heard this my feet fell from underneath me and I laid in the drive way lifeless.
"Baby, you treated me like a princess. Whenever I was around you I felt happy and content. David? You went to Chicago for a week. You left me. I thought we were done and I cut myself. Baby? I was drunk that night. I was lost without you and I needed to drown out my pain. The only way I could was either with you or alcohol. David, I cut myself that night. The tenth reason why for my death is not you, but myself. I killed myself. David? You are suffering right now. I know it. I figured when I died know one would care but you. Why? Because you are remarkable, smart, and selfless. You would do anything for me. You would jump in the front of a car for me, take a bullet for me, and even lay in front of a razor for me. I love you. I miss you. I am not whole without you. I will meet you again someday. Baby? Are you still listening? I hope you know, that I love you! I am proud of you. Your YouTube channel is growing, you just won an award, and you are being noticed all over the country. Baby, I will forever be thankful for you. You have blessed me in no way any else could. Thank you baby. Bubba, please forgive me. Live on, live through me, and keep a smile on your face. Go see a counselor. Your friends will not help you, they will hurt you. Call my parents. Give them updates about you. They will need you. They will call you if you don't. Baby? Trust me. I know you are crying and sad but you will find someone better than me. You deserve someone better than me. David? I wanted to be your Mrs. David Dobrik. But, I can't now. You need to live on. I cannot stress this enough. David, you are special. When every other slutty guy was bashing me for being myself, you embraced me in your arms, in your family, and in your life. Baby, I love you. This is goodbye. For now. I can't make this tape long. There isn't enough time, cassettes, or paper to tell you how much you meant to me. Goodbye, Dobrik."

I collapsed at the thought of Liza blaming herself for her death. I was afraid to love her. I didn't want to suffocate her into this relationship. I did that in my previous relationship and it lasted two months. The girl told me I was too clingy and uptight. Jesus Christ. Why? I could've been myself and Liza would still be alive. I hate myself.

I started listening to music. I walked inside Scotty's house and crashed on his couch. The song, The Night We Met, played. I started crying uncontrollably. Every though of Liza started flooding into my brain, heart, and eyes. I thought to myself.. I should kill myself! No one would care. I could see Liza again. She would be happy to see me. Wait. She told me to live on. She told me to live. I had to follow Liza's rules. They're for the best. She wants me to be happy. She wants me to find someone new. It's just not going to happen. I will never be happy without Liza. I will forever be depressed and unhappy without her. But, I have to live on. I have to live for Liza Koshy, my one and only. Baby? Please know that I love you.

I heard the door open and I immediately sucked it up. I couldn't show others how much I was affected by Liza's death. Even though I was a wreck. I forgot that tears leaved stains on your swollen cheeks. Scotty gave one look at me and hugged me so hard. I couldn't move. Not because of Scotty's hug but because I was paralyzed in sadness that Liza was gone. Liza I hope you know, I will choose to live on for you. Only for you.

Author's Note:
Wow. I'm even crying. I constantly listen to the Night We Met when I write on this book. Thanks for reading! I will be uploading another chapter tonight. It will be short though. Please don't forget to comment and rate. Stay safe. Love you guys so much. As always, bye!
-H🖤