' 𝗬𝗢𝗨 𝗦𝗘𝗡𝗗 𝗠𝗘 𝗦𝗪𝗜𝗡𝗚𝗜𝗡 ' › D. SWING

03.

MARY.

"This nigga better answer this phone, I know that", I mumbled as I dialed his house phone number since he wasn't answering his cellphone.

Ring, ring, ring.

Nothing.  I hadn't heard from him in a day and honestly, it wasn't like him to not speak to me. Especially since he promised he'd go with me to my mom's house today for the family dinner she was having. I sighed, frowning and my bottom lip trembling as I tried my best to keep myself from crying. He didn't deserve any type of emotion from me, or love for that matter. Yet here I was, continuing to be the naive woman I've been since the day I met him. When will I learn?

I glanced down at my watch and it read 7:39pm. He was usually back from the studio around 6 so there's absolutely no reason why he shouldn't be at least trying to get in contact with me. I scoffed, shaking my head as I got up from the couch, walking over to the foyer and slipping my feet into my sandals before grabbing my keys off of the table and heading out of the house, locking the door behind me.

I hated being this kind of girlfriend. The kind that has to pop up on you just to catch you doing what I prayed you weren't. The kind that has to be loud and possessive just to make sure females know you're taken because you don't want to tell them. The kind that has to constantly question whether or not you love me. The kind that feels so insecure and undesired by the only man she loves that she hates herself. That girlfriend. That's me. That's who I've become.

I gripped the steering wheel as I sped down the streets of Los Angeles, heading toward he and JoJo's house with the radio volume up as far as I could get it while I took deep breaths to steady my heart rate.

❛ He might be doing you but he's thinkin' about me. So lay that finger on another lover and go find another brother. ❜

I sighed, listening to the lyrics and rolling my eyes at how convenient it was to have this song playing with the current situation I was in. Time and time again, I had asked God to send me a sign to let me know if I should leave Cedric, and he did. Repetitively. And I ignored them because I didn't want to believe he wasn't the one for me. It hard to let go of a relationship you had invested so much time and energy into, always thinking that maybe things would get better and all your effort wouldn't be in vain.

Finally pulling into his driveway, I climbed out of the car and slammed the door shut as I walked to the porch and used the key he had given me, pushing it into the lock and twisting only to find out it wasn't working. Don't tell me this nigga did what I think he did. I took a deep breath, closing my eyes briefly before trying to key once again only for it to have the same result. I wanted to scream but I refrained from doing so, banging on the front door instead. I was sure he knew my knock by now and was probably scrambling around the house for some clothes and trying to sneak the woman out of the backdoor. The backdoor. I nodded to myself, pursing my lips as I walked around the side of the house toward the backyard, pulling the wooden door connected to the wooden gate open and going inside then quietly closing the door back behind me, watching as his pitbull ran toward me. I made kissy noises with my mouth, slowly kneeling to pet him once he had reached me and speaking in whisper, "Hey, DeVantè." I still founded the idea of Cedric naming the dog after DeVantè hilarious. He got into an argument with him one night and because he had the ugliest pit known to man, he decided to name it after DeVantè as an insult, even he was far from ugly.

I could hear the crunching of the grass beneath someone's feet as they entered the backyard, the sound getting closer so I stood up and prepared myself for whoever it might be. She appeared from around the corner with her clothes and shoes I hand as she wore one of his t-shirts, tip-toeing but coming to a halt once she spotted me, her eyes growing wide with fear. "Leanne?", I called out in utter shock, never imagining that I would see her sneaking out of Cedrick house half-naked or out of his house period. Through Rhonda, me and Leanne had become good friends—at least to me. So the fact that this was happening had completely caught me off guard. I didn't know how to react, practically frozen. I could feel the rage building from within as I stood there watching her while she looked at me like a deer in headlights.