Horrible Acts | ✔️ | Blue Exorcist

To Testify

Naito would stare at me randomly as the trial went under way. When I was called to the stand by my attorney, I felt fear strike me. He'd be watching my every move, burning a hole through me with his eyes. I swallowed my fear as I walked to the podium, sitting down and hiding my shaking hands.

The bailiff stood next to me, "Do you solemnly swear that you will tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God?" I nodded and swore my oath, my voice confident, but I was shaking underneath the surface.

I set the paper with my typed testimony on the lowered ledge of the podium, taking a deep breath. "Good afternoon, I am Okumura Rin, I am a fifteen year old boy, and I'm the victim of child sex abuse and assault." My eyes roamed over the jury, who didn't seem to be all that affected by the slight tremor that appeared in my voice. "I am still discovering how the abuse I have suffered has affected me. It has destroyed my childhood and teenage years, a beautiful thing that everyone deserves.

"I was abused by a family friend, Naito Ryo, starting at age seven." I purposely kept my face away from said person, I wouldn't be able to meet his eyes, anyway. "He used caring words to coax me into the abuse. Words such as: 'you're a good boy, let's play a game, you're special.'" I swallowed audibly, a blush forming on my cheeks and humiliation shot through me. "Considering that he was a priest, my father never seemed to find it odd when Ryo would offer to cover for him.

"In the beginning, he'd only touch me inappropriately." My eyes flickered to the row of familiar faces, my eyes apologizing for the truth that they would hear. "Then, he'd asked if I wanted to touch him, taking off his pants before I could even answer. The next thing I recall is him trying to have sex with me," I averted my gaze, no longer able to meet anyone's eyes, "and how painful it was. I'd ask him to stop, multiple times, but he always told me it would hurt less if I stopped complaining." I chewed on my lip, throughly embarrassed. "During his stay at our family monestary, he'd have me outfitted with some sort of gadget, so that our next interaction wouldn't hurt as bad."

The silence in the courtroom was deafening, and my own voice would waver at the most inconvenient times, making me lose my confidence. "After every abuse, he'd give me a candy: a particular brand of peppermint. To this day, just the smell of the sweet can send me into a panic attack." I moved my eyes over the jury again, noting how some faces seem to express pity. "At the time, I knew what was being done was wrong, and that I didn't like it. However, I couldn't tell anyone, not even my father, out of fear that Naito Ryo would hurt me. 'Bad boy's tattle, and bad things happen to those boys,' he'd say."

I was only halfway through my testimony, but I already felt like dying, I was humiliated and vulnerable to all, their eyes were judging me, pitying me, and I hated every single moment. "I find it difficult to be a normal teenager. In the middle of classes, I'll space out and relive the abuse I'd been put through. I barely passed junior high because I lacked the attention during my exams. And on the streets, I'd become a menace, taking control of others because I couldn't control my own life. I'd come home with bruises and busted knuckles, only to be lectured for my misbehavior.

"To this day, I have horrible nightmares. Filled with the haunting memories of what Naito Ryo would make me do." This morning had been the first time anything other than a memory had haunted me. I should've mentioned that fact, but I couldn't bring myself to improvise from my written memoir. "I'd lose too much sleep over them and started dozing off in the middle of class." I took a deep breath, the stress and nerves were eating at me, and I was close to breaking from the pressure. "Trust is also something I struggle with, and creating new friends makes me uncomfortable. Even though I always knew that they were harmless, I would become irrational and snap at them, losing a lot of relationships in the process."