Fandoms For Lyfe

;Healing;

(I recommend listening to Venus by Sleeping At Last while reading this, because it's what I was listening to while writing and I feel like it fit it okay. Not perfectly, but okay..)

It's been a month since Mon-el left. That was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I wish there was another way to fix our Daxamite problem, without having to send him away. But, there wasn't. And now he's gone and I feel empty and I can't find the motivation to move from my bed but I know I have to, because I have a job I need to attend to and I've already missed more than enough days.

But it hurts so much. And I have no desire to do anything except sleep in his T-shirt and miss him. 

I heard Alex proposed to Maggie. As happy as I am for my sister and her girlfriend, I can't bring myself to be around them right now. They have something great and amazing, and every time I've tried to have anything like that it's gone wrong. I envy it, the fact that my sister has found a love so pure with Maggie, and how they love each other so much. I want something like that so bad and I'm not sure where it became something I was so desperate for but I need it. I need that kind of human connection. I want it.

Mon-el made me so happy despite all our petty squabbles and differences. I loved him. Maybe he wasn't perfect, maybe he made mistakes but we all do. He at least tried to be better and I can't deny how proud I am of him for that, even if it was hard. He was better than he once was.

And now he's gone. His book is still lying by the couch, and it will never be finished. All of his clothes are still here and still smell like him. His side of the bed is still unmade and messy. His glasses are on the bedside table. I close my eyes and try to imagine he's right here next to me but I know he's not and nothing hurts worse than knowing he's not.

I'm alone.

I bury my face in his pillow and wrap myself in the blankets, hoping I'll fall asleep forever. It's ridiculous to be so destroyed like this but I loved him and even The Girl of Steel's heartbreaks sometimes, even I need time to heal.

There's a knock at my door and I don't bother to try and think of who could be here this time because I just don't care.

"Kara," I hear them sigh. This voice instantly pulls me out of my bed, pushing off the covers and sauntering towards the front door. They knock again and I speed up a bit.

As soon as I get there I unlock the door and swing it open. Only to feel a pair of arms wrap themselves around me in no time, probably faster than Barry, and hug me tightly. I melt into her touch and bury my face in her shoulder and pull her closer to me even if it isn't possible. We don't say anything and my body shakes as I cry freely and she rubs my back. We stay standing in the door way for a while, just hugging like that.

I feel like she's trying to squeeze all my broken pieces back together. I'm grateful she isn't saying anything. Right now all I need is this embrace. I just need her here.

"I created that device. I'm so sorry I know what this would've done. I knew it wouldn't be pleasant but I had no idea you'd lock yourself in here like this. Kara, please, I'm so sorry." She said in rushed whispers.

"Lena, it's okay. And thank you actually. You saved the world basically. You're my hero." I chuckled lightly and smiled for the first time in days. Someone needed to thank her. It was true, I may be Supergirl but she is my hero. She's so strong and independent and smart, and she's always trying to make the world a better place, and this wasn't the first time Lena has saved the day. And she does it all without any need for a gain. One of the many things I admire about her.

"It's not." Lena murmured, holding me tighter.

I remembered the look she had when speaking to Supergirl. "Did you know Kara Danvers was dating him?" She had narrowed eyes and a beyond annoyed, angry? expression. I couldn't even tell. Lillian wore a smug look. Does Lena hate me? Was that her original reason for not finding a different solution? No, no, she was in a rush. It was the only solution and if given the opportunity I'm sure she would've tried something else.