All I've ever wanted...

All I've ever wanted *1

Heyyy :) 

so for those of you that wanted me to progress with this heres the first chapter. 

dont forget to vote/comment at the end if you like it. 

xoxox

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There are just some things that shouldn't be shared between best friends; 

Especially if that best friend of yours is a guy, and especially if that guy is also the one person who you have been completely head over heels in love with all of your life.

"So then the crazy whore tried to grab hold of my leg and declared that she loved me and that she had already named our children! I swear it took all I could not to send her flying off my leg. Just because I fucked her once doesn't mean I planned on doing it again let alone marry the bitch! Girls are psychopaths... I need to fuck" Ethan exclaimed from the passenger seat; his hands rose in the air in frustration.

As always, I nonchalantly started to fiddle with the station on my car; not really listening to what was playing, but anything to distract me from hearing about his constant sex life.

This is how it went every single day.

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Since Ethan was my next door neighbor, my parents sort of obligated me into giving him a lift to and from school everyday since Ethan didn't have a car. Its not like I would have protested anyway, I would have done just about anything for that boy, but of course, any 'best friend' would right? Of course that best friend did NOT need to hear about his daily dose of pus- yeah we just wont get into that shall we?

All my life I have done just about anything and everything for that boy. Why? Because I loved him; I love him with all my heart and soul, yet he never knew.

Multiple times he has given me what I thought were hints to say he liked me too. The way he would hold me tight, sometimes too tight, in an embrace just to show me pure affection, the way he would stroke my cheek and look deeply in my eyes, the way he would hold my hand just out of pure habit, and the way his lips would linger against my skin when he would kiss my cheek, they were all what I wanted to be signs that he loved me too. Of course my interpretation and reality itself are two very different things.

I spent just about all of my time with Ethan; he was my only friend.

I wasn't a loner as such; I was just more... independent. I had the opportunity to be friends with people but my attention always stayed with Ethan. The thought of having another friend would mean less attention focussed on him, and even though it sounds ridiculous that I would risk so much for him, it was what I wanted and what I was content to do. Of course the same couldn't be said for him. He was the star quarter back of the school football team so naturally he would have every guy friend going and yet more girls to fall at his feet.

Oh and didn't he make use of those girls.

He was famous for it. There was not one girl -except me- that he hadn't gone out with, fucked and broken their hearts. 

Guys worshipped him and girls hated him, yet all he had to do was click his fingers and their insides would turn to Jell-O at his feet. Some people would say this is an 'eye roll moment' because those girls are just pathetic, but really who could blame them? Just one look at him and it would take your breath away.

To be this close to him, even if it caused me so much pain, I was thoroughly grateful for. Girls hated me for it. Some tried to make my life hell, but it never worked because my knight in shining armour would always come to my rescue. If only they knew that I got to sleep with him every night too. Maybe it's not in the same way as they have probably 'slept' with him but still...

Every night at midnight he would sneak into my window using the tree that is situated between both of our houses, and he would climb into bed with me. His arms would wrap themselves around me in a protective cage and we would fall asleep in each others embrace.

At that moment, I couldn't care less if he didn't care about me the same way I did about him, I didn't care that my heart hurt to know the truth behind his actions -that he was merely doing it out of routine and nothing more- and I didn't care that in the morning I would be woken up yet again by his cell phone ringing by his next fuck, all I cared about was that I was in his arms and he was in mine. We were holding each other like true lovers hold another. I would fall asleep with a smile on my face letting my imagination take over my mind with my own fantasies. The only thing I cared about was for now he was mine. Or so my dreams would tell me...

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"Are you coming in or are you just going to go home?" I asked him as casually as I parked the car in the driveway.

How my voice remained casual I don't know. The way he was leaning against the window allowed the suns rays to beam in and illuminate his perfect face. He was stunning. Flawless. Perfect. Out of my league.

Only years and years of practice allowed me to accomplish the perfect poker face and voice that helped me disguise any feelings I had for him. I often thought my face betrayed me because sometimes the love I felt for him was just too strong that it seemed like it was written in bold across my face. His expression betrayed nothing; stating I was too good an actress or that he didn't care about me like that so he wouldn't be looking for signs that I like him like I would with him. My guess is the latter option.

"I'm coming in of course! It's Wednesday, that's chicken ala Maria. I swear your mother is the best cook is the world, and dang if she was a few years younger I'd sure tap that"

"Ewww E that is gross! don't talk about my mom like that, that's disgusting!" I yelled repulsed. I didn't even want to thing about the two of them together because even though my mother was years older, If she was single I have no doubt that she wouldn't fall victim in one of his love traps. That boy had the looks of an angel...

Ethan laughed and got out of the car. He walked around and opened up my side for me before helping me out and pulling me into one of his big warm hugs.

As if an impulsive reaction, my heart kicked into fifth gear and I had to suddenly remember how to breathe again.

I could feel his chest rise and fall against mine as his light chuckles rippled throughout his body. The way our bodies fit together was perfect, as if we had been customarily designed for one another.

After a few moments of comfortable silence he let go of me and smiled.

"Don't worry Jen Jen, you are the only girl for me" he whispered as he carefully swept fallen hair behind my ears.

Electricity burned through my veins, seeping towards the surface where our skin touched. His lips were pulled up into that perfect smile of his. Oh how badly I wanted to feel those lips against mine...

"Now come on, I smell chicken!" he laughed and started making his way towards my house.

"Just give me a minute, I think I left something in the car" I told him as I hastily walked back to the car and got inside.

"Okay but hurry up" he replied as he went inside the house.  

As soon as he had disappeared I collapsed onto the seats and stared at the ceiling whilst trying to catch my breath again. Why did he have to touch me like that? Why did he have to say those words? Did he not know the effect he had on me was already lethal?

How could one person be enough to make me faint in the blink of a second?

Oh right, its Ethan Christenson, of course he could.

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Thanks♥

Lissie_starstrukk27©