or when another's words turn into berating thoughts.
i arrived at the pool around 18:15 so i could stay for an hour. despite my hopes, the group of teens from my school were there again, this time actually in the pool. i felt gutted at the thought of it.
"hey b!" one of the girls said as i set my bag down. i looked up and didn't recognize her face at all. all i could say was "uh."
another girl in the pool, one i knew from literature, asked her friend if she knew me. her answer was "no," and immediately the asker turned her head to me and shouted, "she said you have a fat ass!"
i scrunched up my face, unsure of how else to react.
as soon as i arrived home, i felt like someone had slapped me.
i'd been proud of my body, of how it dropped so much weight in fat and built it back in muscle, of how it developed abs, of how i didn't feel ashamed of it.
but quickly, all that felt like it was thrown into a trash compactor.
that word.
"fat."
i haven't heard it in reference to me in so long i can't remember the last time someone said it.
i breathe in. i breathe out.
i know i shouldn't let it get to me, but boy does it. people's words are just worth too much in my currency.
YOU ARE READING
Smart Girl
Non-Fictionthoughts from the smart girl. //the journal of wren// //highest rank #2 in non fiction// //all names of real people interacted with here are altered from their original versions for privacy's sake//
