The Veteran Left Behind - ON HOLD

Chapter 14

Ben collapsed on the armchair and rubbed his eyes.  He knew his body was tired but he couldn't sleep.  He took off his shoes and rubbed his leg that was still raging with pain.  The pain was making his thigh have muscle spasms.  He grabbed the TV remote but thought better of it.  What if there was more news of the war.  He popped open the pill bottle next to him and took one of the sleeping pills.

I just need to sleep. 

Ben stood up and walked over to the bathroom.  He stripped off his clothes, careful not to aggravate his leg.  He turned on the water as hot as he could handle and stepped into the shower.  He grabbed the bars to keep his weight off his leg and felt rage bubble inside him again. 

I'm in my fucking 20s and have to use a damn bar to get in the fucking shower. 

Ben huffed angrily and put his back to the water.  The warm stream of water made him realize his muscles ached more than he realized.  He put his hands on the slick tile in front of him and let the hot water rush over him.  The muscle spasms in his thigh eased over time.  Ben sighed with the relief.  He closed his eyes and let the water continue to run over him until it turned cold. 

He felt the sleeping pill kick in making his head feel slightly heavy.  Ben turned off the water and threw a towel around him.  He made it over slowly to the bed and collapsed on the sheets.

*****

Ben looked down at the flag underneath his hands.  The rounded hard surface underneath was made the flag almost slip off.  He looked to the left and realized he was leaning on a casket.  He pulled his hands up and moved away. 

"It is important to know that he will be unable to have an open casket viewing."

Ben turned to the woman speaking to him.  Her marine uniform was rolled up at the sleeves. 

"Sergeant Grayson, do you understand?  His casket must be remained closed.  He was too badly injured for us to repair him."

Ben's face must have shown confusion.

The woman's eyes showed sadness as she responded, "It's all there.  He just couldn't be put back together.  We did what we could but it's best to keep the casket closed."

The memory faded away to a soldier's cross in front of him.  The clean boots stood on the stand.  The M4 stacked on top with the cavalier helmet sitting on the butt stock.  Ben was kneeling in front of it and couldn't look away from the blood spattered ID tags.  He looked down at the boots.  They weren't Nelsons's.  Nelson's were destroyed by the blast.  Three more sets of soldier crosses were standing next to Nelson's.  Ben watched as a Private broke down in tears mumbling it should have been him to another fallen comrade's cross.

Ben felt the aching of his chest growing.

****

Ben shot up from bed and grabbed his chest.  He was heaving in his sleep.  The flag on the casket came to mind again.  He pushed it away as he looked at the alarm clock next to him.  He had only been asleep for an hour.

"Fuck."

Ben pulled himself to the side of the bed and realized he still wasn't dressed.  He stood up on one leg and grabbed some clothes.  He pulled on the boxers and jeans trying to forget his dream.  He limped over to the living room and sat down on the recliner.  He picked it up and scrolled through the social media news feeds.  A news report came up about soldiers coming home after a 9 month deployment. 

Ben threw his phone to the side again.  He turned on the TV and changed it to a safe channel without any news reports.  As he stared at the TV, a loud thump sounded outside.  Ben shot up from his chair and grabbed his cane.  He pulled out the pistol hidden in the table next to his bed and quickly walked out of the front door. 

His eyes focused quickly on his surroundings and his body stood still even with the adrenaline rushing through him.  He held the grip tightly.  The pistol stayed glued to the side of his body.  A garbage truck came to view started driving away down the street.  Ben slammed the door in frustration.  His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt even more agitation with the cane he was having to use with one hand. 

He put the pistol in the table closest to him feeling ridiculous.  Not only because there wasn't an actual danger but because he was wielding a handgun with a cane in the other hand. 

Ben slowly made his way to the bathroom.  He looked at his reflection and saw the dark circles under his eyes made them look sunken.  His hair was disheveled from tossing and turning in his sleep. A 5'oclock shadow had started forming around his jaw line and cheeks.  He looked away from his reflection and grab his keys he left in his cargo pocket.  Ben grabbed his cigarette pack and walked out to the patio.

The ashtray was full of the last night he sat out here unable to sleep and chain smoking.  This had become a ritual every night it seemed.  He leaned back on the wicker chair and lit a cigarette as he watched the dark clouds start to roll in.  The smell of rain came to his nostrils.  He couldn't be more thankful of a small distraction.  He continued to puff on his cigarette quietly, watching the rain clouds make it's slow decent down the valley.  He shoved the cigarette in the ashes hearing it's faint hiss then leaned back on the chair.  Ben closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

Thanks for reading everyone.  Please feel free to vote and or comment.  This helps me get some feedback.