Armament

Chapter 9 - Broken

I'm still too shaky to stand up when Evanel tries to take me back to the Incipient floor so I'm in a wheelchair once again, much to Colin's amusement and worry. The weird combination of concern and laughter on his face is rather comical as Evanel rolls me to a stop at the table in the Rec room.

He finally speaks when Evanel walks away, "What happened this time?"

I shrug uncomfortably, "I had another panic attack."

He leans forward, placing his hand over mine, "Are you okay?"

I nod, avoiding his eyes, "I guess."

"Do you know what triggered it?" He looks me up and down, checking for some type of injury.

"I think so," I look around hesitantly, "can I tell you about it later?"

His eyes are still filled with concern, but now curiosity as well, "Of course, as long as you're okay."

"I am, I just..." I try to tell him, but I sound like I'm trying to convince myself, "I will be, I just can't tell you yet."

"That's fine, when do you want to tell me?"

"After tea, I need to go to my training session then I'm going to see my mother before that."

He furrows his brows, "I didn't know that you have an appointment with your mum."

"I don't." I smile grimly, "But I really need to see her."

"Why aren't we using the usual room?" I glance at Evanel in the mirror of the elevator.

"You're more powerful now, Doctor Dareshak wants you to use the more advanced training room."

"What else is on that level?"

He twists his face in thought, "Just training rooms and offices, I think."

He's a convincing liar, he has to be. I've been in this government facility for a month and not once have I sensed that he's lied. But he must have at some point, it comes with the job description. He might have some involvement in what has been happening to these Armaments. I look back over the past month, at how at ease I've been around him and how I've treated him like a friend despite knowing nothing about him. If I have any relation to these so-called Armaments then he could very well be my enemy.

I try to control the shaking in my hands again, opening and closing them into fists, "Why do I have to do all this training again?"

He gives me a sidelong glance, "There's multiple reasons but mostly so you don't have to rely on our protection when you leave."

I'm tempted to yell, and not so you can use us as weapons? But I don't, he can't know what I saw in those files, not if it puts me at risk. "What are the other reasons?"

"The S.S.C.C. wants to study your abilities so they have an idea of what the world is up against if the Aberrants ever decide to attack," his answer seems honest enough but is obviously rehearsed, rehearsed and final, telling me that he won't give me any more reasons – not truthful ones anyway.

I ignore the butterflies in my stomach telling me to leave the subject alone, "So, is my training voluntary?"

I only catch the way his whole body seems to freeze for a second, "Why? Don't you want to continue with your training?"

I pause, deliberating on the best answer, "I was just curious."

He purses his lips, quickly swiping away imaginary stray hairs on his forehead, "Training is optional for Incipients."