Chapter Seventeen-Rebels with Cheese Whiz

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  • Dedicated to Fun Ghoul
                                    

Soon the mood around the diner began to lighten. Party Poison was smiling again. Jet Star would often play his old electric guitar. Kobra Kid seemed to have put our romance behind him, and Fun Ghoul…well…he and Star Lace were back at it again.

“FUN GHOUL YOU MOTHER-DUCKING BUTTERFINGER! I’M GOING TO KILL YOU!”

That was my wake up call on Saturday morning. Groaning, I glanced at the clock. Seven thirty. Well, after Lace yelling like that, I wasn’t about to go back to sleep anytime soon.

I rolled out of bed and threw on a clean pair of skinny jeans and a green t-shirt that said “I can’t hear you over the sound of how awesome I am”. Alright, so I don’t wear the exact same pair of jeans and shirt every day for my Killjoy uniform. Sue me.

After dragging a brush through my hair I opened the door and was almost knocked over by Lace running by me. She was dripping wet as though she had just come out of the shower—and her hair was solid black.

“Holy shit, Lace, what did Fun Ghoul do to you?” I cried.

“THAT MAMA DUCKIE PUT BLACK HAIR DYE IN MY SHAMPOO!” Lace yelled. I brought my hand to my face in a facepalm. This was just what we needed on Saturday morning. Brilliant.

There was a creak in the hallway behind me and I turned around to see Fun Ghoul standing there. He put a finger to his lips and started to back away.

“Oh, no you don’t!” I snarled, running after him. He gave an odd squeak and tore down the hall. I chased him for about fifteen seconds before I tackled him to the ground.

“LACE I GOT HIM!” I screamed.

“Fuck! Shit! Ghost, let go of me! She’s going to kill me!” Ghoul whined, writhing on the ground.

“No way,” I laughed as Star Lace came around the corner. She glared at Ghoul, her brown eyes wide, and put her hands on her hips.

“What are we going to do with him?” I panted, struggling to keep Fun Ghoul down.

“…Cheese Whiz,” Lace whispered dramatically.

We ended up putting Cheese Whiz in Fun Ghoul’s hair. A lot of it. The smell wouldn’t come out for weeks, and I have to admit it was one of Lace’s best ideas. Of course, it was a tad hard to explain when Atomic Urgency walked in on us rubbing cheese from a can into Fun Ghoul’s scalp.

“What the hell is going on? Satisfying some sort of deranged sexual fetish, Ghoul?” he smirked as he grabbed a soda and popped it open. Ghoul turned dark red.

“He put dye in Lace’s shampoo. And put that soda back, Urgency, it’s eight in the morning,” I said, standing up and brushing Cheese Whiz off my front.

“Okay, Mom,” Urgency groaned. He put the soda back into the fridge and walked over to me.

“Damn, you even got it in your hair,” he laughed, running his fingers through my hair. The kitchen door opened again.

“What. The. Fuck,” Vine Spider said, staring horrified at the mess of Cheese Whiz before her.

“No time to explain, Spider. I’m hungry and I want cereal!” Lace sang, suddenly very upbeat. Ghoul stood up, almost completely covered in cheese.

“I think an apology is in order,” Lace said, looking at him. He spat out the worst of the cheese and looked sheepish.

“I’m sorry, Lace,” he mumbled. Lace nodded and smiled. Ghoul dragged himself out of the kitchen towards the shower, and once he was gone, Lace and I burst into giggles.

“I don’t think I even want to know,” Vine Spider said, shaking her head. Lace bounced over to the sink and started wiping up the mess with a wet sponge, humming.

“Yeah, you probably don’t,” I said.

Later in the afternoon, Party Poison called us into the living room for a meeting. We all gathered around, sprawled on the couches or leaning against doorways. No one commented on the sinfully cheesy smell that Ghoul was emitting.

“So, you guys already know that we’re gathering Killjoys together for a rebellion,” Party Poison said, rubbing his hands together, “And I think we’ve got a date set for a possible storming ofBatteryCity.”

“What?! When?!” Absolute Zero cried.

“August third,” Poison said.

“That’s in three months!” Danger Fate exclaimed.

“Yep,” Jet Star said, “And we’ve already got together a group of one hundred and twenty Killjoys.”

“Since when?” I asked, my jaw dropping.

“Since we got back and have been spending a ton of time sending transmissions on the radio,” Kobra said, raising an eyebrow.

“I knew that,” I muttered.

“Anyways, we’re sure to gather more Killjoys within the next three months. For right now, we just have to make sure all of us stay safe so we’re ready to go into battle,” Dr. D said.

“That means no fistfights, no going out alone to shoot Dracs, and no doing anything incredibly stupid,” Party Poison finished.

“Hope you can handle that,” I muttered to Urgency. He punched my shoulder.

“Atomic Urgency, what did I just say?” Poison said in exasperation.

“Oh, come on! I wouldn’t punch her hard enough to dislocate her shoulder or anything!” Urgency cried. Poison just shook his head.

“Fuck you,” Urgency said under his breath.

“Fuck YOUUUUUUUUU!” I cried, swatting him on the head and darting out of the room before he killed me.

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