Loving Him Silently

Sometimes Hatred Makes Love

Carter

I had said some horrible things to and about my father but unlike him I could never really hate my family. Now he was gone and I felt miserable, maybe it was mourning, maybe it was the fact that Mason hadn't even done much as looked at me in the past 3 days. There was a funeral in a couple days back in the town I thought I'd left behind. This week has been good for everyone except me, Mason got an interview for the company overseas next week and Ryan came and surprised Ji for the weekend before returning for the funeral.

These past couple days Mason would sleep in a different room leaving my bed cold and uncomfortable. I'd wake up late and fall asleep early. I didn't shave nor did I go outside, downstairs or to his office. Until one day Ji came to my door." Carter, come out please." I didn't reply.
" look, I know that you probably think Mason hates you but he doesnt, he is just upset and I know you are too so at least please let me in." I opened the door a little and she came in.
" what the he'll is on your face?" She scratched my beard but I pulled away.
" now isn't the time Ji, what do you want?" She sat on the bed and looked up at me.
" look Mason was going to say it but he thought it'd be better if I told you."
I waited for her to explain before marching into the office and giving him a piece of my mind.
" he wants you to go to the funeral and to go back home. Your father is selling the house and he wants you to grab anything valuable to you or your mother."
Now I understood what dad meant by wanting me to go home, not with him but to grab my mother.
" wow um, I guess that's ok." I mumbled scratching my head.
" we'll go shower and shave, when you are done come downstairs, we miss you." She gave a soft smile and rubbed my back before leaving.

I took my shower and shaved before dressing and making my way downstairs as slowly as I could. When I got there both Ji and Mason were in the kitchen but as soon as I got there Mason left for his office.
" Just give him time." Ji said giving me a small smile before grabbing me a plate.
" I know you haven't ate in days so I made a huge breakfast." I smiled at her and dug into the food. Of course it was good, I'm hungry and it's Jiovanni cooking. We are in silence but it wasn't an awkward silence it was peaceful. I was groggy, tired, messy, and overall just a total mess.

A few long days had passed and now it was time to go home, well back to my hometown and god only knows how much I didn't miss it. But at the same time I could never really hate it, I could never really hate anything, even my father. I e realized over these past few days that even if I constantly told myself I hated him I really didn't, he was my family and I could never hate my family, no matter how hard I tried. When the big limousine pulled up to the grave yard I got out and helped Ji out too. The air was somewhat chilled this morning so I put my coat around her shoulders to keep from shivering. We walked hand in hand to the spot where I'd last see my father. It wasn't anything extravagant or extraordinarily, it was family and close friends.

" Oh is this your girlfriend Carter?" On of my aunts said .
" no actually-"
" YES! Actually this IS my girlfriend aunt Luran!" Ji looked at me funny but then got the hint and smiled.
" She is very beautiful, reminds me of myself back in the day." She touched her hand to her cheek and walked away.
"Why did you tell her that?"
" because my family doesn't need to know that I'm some kind of toy for a hot shot mafia man. Not at my dads funeral at least." She stomped on my foot and elbowed my gut.
" you aren't a toy." She said before grabbing my arm and dragging me along. I looked back to see Mason standing in the corner of the grove staring at me and damn was he hot but I had no time to make amends with him I was too busy introducing my "girlfriend" to the relatives I'll probably never see again.

The ceremony started at 12 and it was fine but slowest I started to get sad, remembering the time my father taught me to throw or my first t-ball game and how proud he was.