after l.s version

Chapter 41

"Are you okay?" Zayn asks.

"Yea, well no. But I will be. Thank you for making him leave" I tell him. my tears are flowing now and I don't see an end in sight.

"Don't thank me, Harry may be my friend but you are my friend too and I don't want him upsetting you. I am sorry, this is all my fault. If I wouldn't have let him come around you all the time. He can be a real dick."

"No, it's not your fault at all. I am sorry, I don't want to come in between your friendship. I just need him to not come to our room anymore"

"Of course, I will get the key back from him. I knew I should have given it to Niall anyway" he says and I laugh lightly. I appreciate him being here for me more than he will ever know. I feel completely alone, Lauren is taking time to consider whether to break up with me or not, Harry is an asshole, my mother would lose it if I talked to her about this, and Liam would be disappointed. I literally have no one except this tattooed boy who I never expected to become my friend, but I am glad he did.

"Do you want to talk about it?" He asks and I nod. I do actually, I want to get it all of my chest.

I tell him everything from the first time I kissed Harry in his room to the way, our day at the stream, the orgasm I made him have last night, the way he called my name in his sleep, and the way he destroyed every ounce of respect I had for him when he made me tell Lauren . His face goes from concerned to shocked to sad during my story. My shirt is soaked with tears by the time I finish.

"Wow, I had no idea that so much happened. You could have told me after the first time. I knew something was up when Harry showed up here the night we were going to the movies, I had literally just got off the phone with him, then he showed up here. I had suspected he came here to see you, now I know I was right. Harry is a good guy, sometimes. I mean deep down he is he just doesn't know how to really care for someone the way that you, well most people need to be cared for. If I was you, I would try to make things work with Lauren because Harry isn't capable of being anyone's boyfriend." he says and squeezes my hand. I know everything he is saying is true and he is right, so why does it hurt so bad?

"Do you want to get some ice-cream? There is a good place right off campus, we can walk" he asks. I wipe my tears and nod. It is only noon and if I sit in this room any longer I will go insane.

...

Liam is leaning against the brick outside the coffee house waiting for me on Monday morning.

"What happened to your eye?!" He has a blue-purple ring around his left eye and now that I look closer I see another bruise on his cheek.

Realization hits me like a truck. "Liam! Did Harry do this?" my voice is shaky.

"Yea.." he admits and I am horrified.

"Why? What happened?" I want to kill Harry for hurting Liam.

"He stormed out of the house after you left and then came back about an hour later, he was so pissed. He starting trying to find more stuff to break so I stopped him. It wasn't so bad actually, I think both of us got a lot of our anger towards each other. I got quite a few good hits on him too" he laughs and my mouth falls open.

I am surprised at Liam's light tone while talking about him and Harry fighting.

"Are you sure you're okay? Is there anything I can do?" I ask him. I feel like this is my fault, Harry was mad because of me, but I can't imagine him being mad enough to physically hurt Liam.

"No, really I am okay." he smiles.

"What did your mom say when she got home?" I ask him.

While we walk to class he tells me how Harry's father broke up their fight, luckily they arrived home before they killed one another and how his mother cried when she realized Harry broke her dishes. He says they didn't have any sentimental value, but she was hurt that Harry would do that nonetheless.

"But in other news, much better news, Danielle is coming to visit next weekend. She is coming to the bonfire with me." He smiles.

"Bonfire?" I haven't heard anything about a bonfire.

"Yea, haven't you seen the signs all over campus? It's an annual thing, to start the new year. Everyone goes. I am not usually into stuff like that, but it's actually pretty good time. You should have Lauren come up again and we can make a double date out of it" If Liam only knew I had been cheating on her with Harry and that me and her may or may not be broken up. I smile and nod. Maybe I should invite Lauren so she can see that I have a friend like Liam. I know Harry and Liam.. I mean Lauren and Liam would get along great, and I want to meet Danielle.Now that Liam has mentioned the bonfire, I notice signs littering almost every wall. I guess I was just too distracted by Harry all week to notice. Before I know it I am in Literature, scanning the room for Harry, despite my subconscious reminding me not to. I don't see him and he isn't in his normal seat next to me. "I will ruin her" his voice plays in my head. What could he possibly do that is worse than outing me in front of Lauren? I don't know, nor do I ever want to find out.

"I don't think he is here, I heard him talking to that Lilly girl about switching his classes around. I do wish you could see his black eye though" Liam smiles and my eyes snap to the front of the room. I want to deny that I was looking for Harry but I know I can't. Harry has a black eye? I hope he is okay, no I don't actually, I hope it hurts like hell.

"Oh, okay" I mumble. Liam doesn't mention Harry for the rest of the class.

The rest of the week is the exact same way, I don't talk about Harry to anyone and no one mentions him to me. Zayn almost slips a few times but quickly recovers and moves on. Zayn's boyfriend Tristan has been hanging out in our room all week but I don't mind, I actually really like him and he makes Zayn laugh, and even I found myself laughing a few times during what seems to be the worst week of my life. I am back to my normal routine. Sleep, class, study eat, sleep, class, study, eat.

"Come on Louis, it's Friday, just come with us and we will drop you back off before we go to Har..I mean the party" Zayn begs and I shake my head. I don't feel like doing anything, I need to study and call my mother. I have been dodging her calls all week and I want to call Lauren and find out if she has made a decision. I have been giving her her space all week, only sending her a few texts in hopes that she will come around. I really want her to come to the bonfire next Friday.

"I think I will pass.. I am going to look at cars tomorrow, I need my rest" I half lie. I really am going to look at cars tomorrow but I know I won't be getting rest sitting here alone with my thoughts. I should feel resolved, besides Lauren's uncertainty of our relationship. At least I don't have to worry about Harry anymore. He was obviously serious about staying away from me and I am glad. I just can't shake him from my thoughts, I just need more time. I keep telling myself. The way he tried to act like he wanted something from me, maybe even date me, got under my skin.

My thoughts drift off to a place where Harry was pleasant and funny, and we got along. A place where we could date, really date, and he would take me out to the movies or to dinner. He would put his arm around me and be proud that I was his, he would drape his jacket over my shoulders if I was cold and kiss me goodnight, promising me that he would see me tomorrow.

"Louis?" Zayn says and my thoughts disappear with a puff of smoke. That wasn't reality and the person in my daydream would never be Harry.

"Oh come on, you have been wearing those fuzzy cloud pants all week" Tristan teases and I laugh. These pants are my favorite to wear to bed, especially when I am sick, or like this week going through a break up or two, I am still confused on how Harry and I ended something that was nothing.

"Okay. Okay, I will come but I need you to drop me off right after dinner because I have studying to do and I have to get up early" I warn him.

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