*Yoongi's POV**Trigger warning* this chapter contains suicidal thoughts and actions* do not read if sensitive*
why
That is the only question going through my head.
why him
My members are all oblivious to my pain.
Maybe i want them to notice how horrible i feel.
They say that hiding the pain can worsen the wound.
My wound was to big to get help now.
People said that the thoughts will take control of my self. That's not true.
It was as if my thoughts before were a clear glass of water. then one by one, drops of dye come in and ruin the transparency, permanently destroying what was there, until it is to foggy to see what is right and wrong.
I am a mess up. I know that. But, I didn't realize how much of a mess up I was until the accident.
Hobi was in the practice room practicing his solo dance. I came in and asked him if he could get me some coffee before he leaves.
I intended on staying to finish some lyrics. Knowing me, I would be there til tomorrow, so I couldn't let something as petty as sleep bother me.
He went out of his way to the cafe across the street for my favorite coffee, but coming back he was hit by a drunk driver.
He didnt come back.
The members told me after he was at the hospital and I yelled at them. 'they'll never get it.' I stormed out, not intending to go anywhere.
The facts and truth were suffocating me. There was a slim chance he would survive. They tries to tell me it wasn't my fault and he would survive.
They don't understand how much pain I went through.
It was my fault, and that messed with my head more than the thought of him dying.
The only light in my life was brought down by my darkness. Like many had before.
I was the reason the band was held back. He would be here if it weren't for me.
My mind has always been broken and they wasted energy trying to find the peices. He wasted brightness trying to get me to open up. 'I wasnt worth them.'
'they will do better without me....'
I jumped. the crash taking my last breath and putting my mind at rest.
His light will shine brighter without my darkness....
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So basically everyone is probably confused. suga commited suicide because hobi got hurt because of him. that is an extremely sensitive topic i know but it had to be done. if anyone needs to talk message me and we will talk. Next is seventeen then bap then astro. i am sick so it might be up late
-M
