IVORY | CARL GRIMES |
"you don't know what to believe anymore, do you? your whole life, after this, this thing has overtaken the world, you've been desperately attempting to find some sort of peace with what has happened, but you haven't, and it sca...
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"here," sawyer says, with comfort laced in his tired tone. his outstretched hand offers saskia a single granola bar and a gentle rub on her small back. his forced smile fails to hide the growing bags under his eyes and the light ceasing to exist behind his forest green eyes.
saskia frowns lightly, wanting desperately to refuse the meager gift and allow sawyer to indulge, but she knows that with their history, it will be to no avail. he cares deeply for his little sister, and he would never put her in a position where she would be unable to survive, or at least have the necessities to do so.
hesitantly, she slips a piece of the now broken granola bar into her mouth but makes sure to slip some into sawyer's hand, and for once, he doesn't argue with the gesture and lets his hand close around the piece. he follows suit and gratefully chews and swallows the snack.
the two siblings sit in silence for a few moments, and the only thing to fill the air is the sounds of crickets chirping far off into the woods. the sounds of nature once omitting from a sound machine that lulled saskia to sleep as a child now were made very real for her, and no, it wasn't a relaxing camping trip she could pack up and go home from, it was her life.
"you can eat, you know," saskia whispers into the chilly air, her visible breaths filling the air in front of her, "you have to protect yourself and not just me," she huffs, sitting up straight and looking off into the distance. she knew even getting him to take a bite was a small accomplishment, but she needed him to know that she was okay without an extra piece, many extra pieces, for that matter.
the unavoidable dark of night is welcoming to the youngest brown because it shields her from the horrors only seen in the daylight, but to sawyer, it leaves him on edge and causes his body to tense up in fear, in fear of the unknown.
"you're twelve, sas," sawyer murmurs quickly, as of the words are venom and he wants to rid them of a home on his tongue as soon as possible, turning his head gain a better view of his little sister, "you need someone to protect you." and what surprises saskia is that the usual disdain in his voice has disappeared when talking about her survival, but has been replaced by an uncanny and unusual bout of care.
no matter how much he might care for saskia on the surface, she was well aware of the fact that sawyer loathed his role as older brother. he much rather would like to be on his own and not following after saskia, who he deemed helpless, and embraced the responsibility tentatively. however, when the two curled up against the other, desperate any meager amount of warmth the other could offer, sawyer was grateful to have a companion, and in that moment, so was saskia.
the siblings hadn't always been close due to the seven year age gap between them. the gap between them soon found itself filled with and riddled by unparalleled resentment. the feelings were at home at saskia's house and seemed to dig even deeper in every time saskia had to endure the aching pains of loneliness. her mother was never truly a mother, just a figure in her life who provided her with sustainability, and saskia knew that. it didn't stop her from loving her mom, though. sawyer, being older, got out of the situation as soon as he possibly could. he took freedom in his grasp and with adventure in sight, he fled, leaving the rather timid little girl behind without a second glance in her direction. it stung, to be frank, and saskia was not swift in relinquishing the grudge's hold over her.
