Darling You'll be Okay

Does it Still Scare You?

Sam's POV:

My eyelids flutter open. There's a hazy light and muffled voices. My head feels clearer. Not quite sure how that works but okay. I make out Vic in the dim light. He's sitting next to me on the ground, looking through his phone. I realize that the light is coming from the kitchen and I am on the couch in the lounge. The lights are off in here but the light comes in from the kitchen. I open my eyes fully and look at Vic.
"Vic?" I whisper. His head immediately snaps upwards and looks at me relieved.
"Oh Sam, you're awake!" he breathes as he turns off his phone and turns to look at me.
"What happened?" I ask as I try and sit up.
"Woah, woah, take it easy," Vic says as he gently pushes me back down on the couch.
"You've been out like a light for a solid hour and a half," he explains and I nod. My head still spins.
"So?" I ask, still confused as to why I am on the couch instead of in bed. Vic's face softens.
"You had an anxiety attack and you passed out," he says gently. I nod, slowly.
"Okay."
"Did you take your meds last night Sam?" he asks me and I scan my brain.

Crap.

I bite my lip and shake my head. Vic sighs.
"Sam!"
"I'm sorry okay?! I don't forget very often," I say quietly, trying not to cry.
"Oh good, she's up," Alex's cheerful voice carries from the doorframe. I try not to meet Vic's disappointed gaze as Alex comes in.
"How're you feeling Sam?" he asks me gently and I look at him sadly.
"Okay."
"Sam forgot to take her anxiety medication last night," Vic says. I look down as the disappointment washes over Alex's face.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
"Do you know how worried I was?" Vic says, his eyes boring into the top of my head.
I shake my head.
"Vic I..."
"No, don't 'Vic' me. I was so worried that we would have to call an ambulance and they would see you, and all the scars and they would take you away from me!" he yells and I flinch, a tear rolling down my cheek.
"I can't let them take you away from me," he says more gently, his voice cracking. Alex awkwardly walks out of the room and shuts the door. I can't bring myself to look at Vic. I can feel his hurt and his fear through his anger.
"They strangled me Vic," I whisper, my voice choking.
"There's no way I could've stopped it, even with my medication," I breathe, tears starting to stream down my cheeks. Even though I know Vic is just worried, it really scares me when he yells. He never yells. I flinch as I feel his hand brush against my cheek, so gentle I could cry. I am already crying.
"Look at me Sam," he says softly. I slowly shift my gaze up to meet Vic's eyes which are filling up with tears.
"Did I do that?" he asks me in a whisper, motioning to my tears. I nod, a single sob escaping my lips.
"Oh darling, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," he breathes as his arms wrap around me. I cry into his shoulder.
"You scared me Vic," I choke and I feel him shudder beneath me.
"I know Sammy, I know and I'm really, truly sorry. I was just scared and I shouldn't have taken it out on you okay? Please forgive me," he says and I nod into his shoulder, starting to cry harder.
"Oh baby girl, don't cry, it's okay," he whispers, tears lacing his voice. He pulls me into his lap and I sob into his chest. My ear pressed against where his heart is.
"I'm so sorry Sam. I'm so sorry," I hear Vic choke out as he begins to cry.
"You scared me so much Vic," I sob.
"You never yell and it scared me," I cry and Vic tightens his grip on me.
"I am so, so, so sorry Sam," he sobs and we both end up a blubbering, sobbing mess. Seeing Vic cry makes me cry so we both sob harder.
"Oh baby girl," he breathes between sobs, brushing my fringe out of my eyes so that he can place the softest of kisses to my forehead. After that, I start to calm down, which makes Vic calm down too.
"Vic," I breathe into his chest, my sobs slowing down into the occasional sniffle. We're both silent for a while.
"You know, I remember going to visit you in the hospital when you were born," Vic whispers, breaking the silence. I look up at him.
"Really?"
"Really. I remember holding you in my arms and you looked at me and smiled. Your mother said that you liked me," he says softly. I smile as a tear begins to stream down my face.
"And now, seventeen.. heck, almost eighteen years later, I still hold you in my arms and forget that you're almost grown up," he says, tears now rolling down both our cheeks.
"Because, to me, you are still the precious little baby girl that I held that day in the hospital," he whispers.
"And I still like you," I breathe, my lip trembling as I give him a small smile. He closes his eyes and smiles through his tears. I lean my head on his chest and let out a shuddery breath. I can hear his heart and it soothes me. I'm reminded of all the times that I've found comfort in the refuge of that heartbeat. From when I was so small, when watching a scary movie made me cry, to when I was older, when the world was too much. I'm suddenly struck with a thought.