Confess (A Severus Snape Fanfiction - SSxOC)

Chapter 11

She was so beautiful. He never allowed himself to admire anyone's features, he had trained himself to not pay attention to such unimportant facts. Yet, here he was, drinking in this girl's beauty. He couldn't help it; not now that he knew how she felt about him.

Uneasy from his intense stare, she shifted in her seat. That did the trick. He finally snapped out of it.

"Well, Ms. Jones," he began and cleared his throat. "Why don't you tell me what I did to make everything worse?"

"Since you banned me from Potions, everyone has been laughing at me. It is worse than before. I can't go anywhere without being teased. Everyone knows. And today, those Slytherins kept saying that... that..." Her voice broke and new tears started streaming down her face.

"That... what, Ms. Jones?" He tried hard to keep his cool, even though seeing her like this did something very odd to him. He couldn't tell what it was, but it sure felt uncomfortable. He washed it away with a sip of tea.

"They said," she sniffed in between sobs. "They said I was too ugly, even for... for you."

Crash! Professor Snape just broke the cup he had been holding. Tea was flowing freely across his desk, soaking the papers, but he couldn't care less.

Samara, however, did. Her tears stopped flowing and she examined the remnants of the cup in shock.

"Don't mind that," Severus snarled, brushing the shards carelessly onto the floor. "I'll fix it later. Now, back to you." He could have sworn his words made her shiver, for some reason. "Why do you let such foolishness get to you?"

"It's not foolish," the girl stammered. "You don't like me."

"For Merlin's sake, girl!" He was clearly angry. "Did you not read my letter?"

She nodded, frightened.

"Then, if you did, how do you draw a conclusion like that? Or maybe I wasn't clear enough. So, let me spell it out for you." He was so enraged he was almost yelling. "No matter what you might feel or think you feel, I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your tears, I don't deserve your sleepless nights, I don't deserve your pain, I don't deserve any of this. Most of all, I don't deserve your love. Don't make me the one you cry over. I'm a loner, and I have been for many years. Women stay away from me, and they are wise to do so. I'm talking about powerful witches who have seen a lot in their lives; loners, Death Eaters, even the crazy ones. None of them would even dare consider making any advances to me because they know who I really am. Yet, here you are, a little, delicate girl, just shy of being legal, who doesn't know what she is doing."

"I am legal," she responded quietly. "My birthday was last week."

"That's not the point," he hissed. "The point I'm trying very hard to get across here is that you don't know what you would get yourself into, if I responded to your... your..." The words failed him. He didn't know how to conclude the statement.

He didn't need to. Samara looked at him with the most sincere expression and said calmly, "I don't need to. All I know is that I long to be with you. I'm aware that it is just wishful thinking, but I can't switch off my feelings. I just can't. I want to be near you. Being in the same room with you helps a little with the pain I constantly feel, never knowing what it is like to be held in your arms. Even now. Even though you're yelling at me."

Professor Snape was at a loss for words. Why was she doing this to him? And what was that funny wet stuff that was forming in the corner of his eye? He blinked once, then again, forcing it back.

"Insolent little girl," he snarled, managing to heave himself off the chair. "Get up!"

With huge scared eyes, she obeyed and watched him as he walked around his desk.

Towering over her, he once again realized just how delicate she was. A little pink blush crept over her cheeks, lingering there, making her eyes shine.

He didn't have to consciously decide to do this, his fingers found her chin all by themselves. They softly supported it, lifting it up towards him. He could feel her pulse; it was racing.

"Don't you ever believe that nonsense those idiots tell you. I might be the hideous old dungeon bat, but you... How could you ever think that you are too ugly? When you leave my office, go find a mirror. Maybe you'll see what I see."

He allowed his fingers to gently caress her jawline, to indulge for the shortest time in that feeling of touching her, even if the touch was ever so light.

"You are not a hideous old dungeon bat," the girl whispered breathlessly. "You are perfect."

Professor Snape drew in a sharp breath. "You have no idea what you're doing." His voice was stern, but the look he regarded her with told a completely different story. His fingers that were still holding her chin were trembling slightly. Quickly, hoping she hadn't noticed, he withdrew them. "Go. Now."